Foremark Reservoir a.k.a. A Very Traditional British Bank Holiday

I'm currently racked with indecision about the best way to forge ahead with my blogging. For a change I feel like I am bursting at the seams with things I want to blog about but I'm still struggling with finding the time and brain space to sit down and compose words, and find nice pictures and all those other things that you need to make a good blog post.

This indecision means that I am about a billion years behind on my blogging. I have been back from America almost four months (how is that possible?!) and still haven't finished blogging about that and things have actually been quite exciting for me lately meaning that the stuff is just piling up and ready to topple over.

I either post about things as soon as I do them and try and play catch up with others when I have the chance, or I start back at the beginning and resolutely work my way forwards.

I've already cocked that plan up by writing my post about The Color Run just after I'd done it....

Oh whatever...

Yeah that's right. Continuing on the theme of my last post, I'm going to ask you to stay in May. Go on, try and remember that far back and think about what you were up to on your Bank Holiday weekend.

Can't remember?

That's probably because it was a miserable piss wet through weekend.

Take a look at the below photo - I call it Bank Holiday Grey...

The Person doesn't automatically get Bank Holidays off so a lot of the time we're not together for Bank Holiday shenanigans but he'd booked this one off and we weren't going to let some absolutely dreadful weather get in the way of our fun. No thank you.

For we are British and that means that on Bank Holidays we go out in the nature whether the sun is out or not.

I borrowed my sister's car and we drove out to make the best of it. You would have to because seriously, look at how miserable it was. When we pulled up it was just so British I could I have cried. Over in the distance there was a couple determined to have a picnic and had their rug spread out, sheltering under a tree. By the kiosk there was a miserable looking teenager who had clearly been dragged out against her will with the rest of the family. And through the drizzle we could spy Super Active Family, with Dad striding out ahead and Mum and child valiantly struggling on behind him, all wearing matching kagoules.

I always act as if I don't like nature and that's not strictly true. If anything I can get very over-excited about nature because I'm still a city girl at heart and generally shy away from woods and trees.

The trouble is that nature for me is synonymous with aimless wandering. I don't really get the point of just "going on a walk". I get it more if you have a dog and you are exercising said canine. But two people, just out...walking...I can't really get my head around it.

"So where do we walk to?" I asked The Person.

"I don't know, you just walk." came the reply.

I was unconvinced.

The one downside of Foremark Reservoir is that you can't walk all the way around its perimeter. That is the kind of walking I can begin to get my head around, although only just. You walk for the sake of walking around the outside of something? It just jars a little in my head sometimes.

But I was there to explore and I was happy to get my nature on, even if there are some pretty steep hills and what feels like perilous steps around the reservoir.

I like trees though. I'm a fan of green. I'm a fan of leaves. All good things in my book.

The main problem with Foremark is that a lot of the time when you're walking around it you can't really see the water. There's a small part with a man-made beach but you can only go so far on that and then you're in very dense woodland for the rest of the time.

It's ok, but, you know, something to look at other than leaves would be nice.

We battled valiantly on for quite a while I think, but in the end the rain was just not stopping. Aimless walking, couple with persistent rain just does not make for a fun day out for me I'm afraid, it was literally dampening my spirits.

The only thing that could make me feel better?

A return to the kiosk to buy a cup of tea and a sit on the bench in the rain, getting a wet bum, because, let's face it, we were already wet anyway.

We watched the picnic couple pack up and silently saluted them. They'd done their best and had fought the good fight, but in the end the British Wet Bank Holiday will always win my friends.

BEDM Day 7 - May Day Bank Holiday

This latest Bank Holiday saw me back in the Mothership for a weekend of me and Mum time. I'd actually booked the tickets a long time back because I thought I was going out for someone's birthday but sometimes things just don't turn out like you thought they would. But that was fine, it meant more time for me to spend with Mumsie.

I took no crochet with me, just the ridiculously large hardback copy of A Dance with Dragons, the final book in the Song of Ice & Fire series (a.k.a. Game of Thrones). It is just too big that book, but I knew I was finally coming to the end of it and could get through a good chunk of it on the Megabus journey. I started it on 31 March and have been held back from finishing it sooner purely by the literal size of it - it is just physically difficult to lug around with you. Luckily for those reading it in paperback, it has been split into two books - although I can't lie to you, they're still outrageously large.

Speaking of ridiculously large things one of Mum's friends came round to see her with some spare rhubarb from his allotment. Cue Mum walking in with a heavy duty bin liner that she could barely lift. See picture below (Lily is captured for a size reference).

Mum spent a fair portion of my time stewing rhubarb, but there was still a fairly huge pile left so I was dispatched back to the Midlands carrying what felt like half a stone of rhubarb on my back.

Whilst Mum stewed rhubarb, I drank cider, because I know how to roll on a Bank Holiday. I am not a drinker of 'proper' wee-coloured cider. Not at all the time at least. I am mostly a drinker of namby bamby fruit ciders that basically don't taste of alcohol. I feel like I might as well be drinking a bottle of Hooch, so little have my drinking habits changed over the years.

Question - isn't Apple kind of a given flavour when you're drinking cider?

Obviously there was much Fred and Lily time. Lily was uncharacteristically affectionate with me this trip - normally she just loves Mum but I was honoured to have the pleasure of her company on my lap quite a few times. That top right picture is her watching Pillow Talk on Saturday night with me. (If you've never watched it you are missing out.) 

That's Fred yawning by the way. He's not really fierce.

I didn't just stay in, drinking cider, stewing rhubarb and playing with cats though.

We took a wander in to town where I got to admire Queen's Gardens looking flippin' fit in the sunshine with their newly planted beds and I even took a trip to East Park for a run with a friend. We probably did a little bit more walking than we should have done but at least we were out doing something yeah? Let's call it interval training.

And anyway, who cares about the running when you can see a deer like this little baby down below?

It may not have been a heady Bank Holiday, full of boozing and boozing and some more boozing but it was a Bank Holiday full of things I love:

- Cider

- Reading

- Fred and Lily

- Time with Mumsie

- My city looking pretty

(Not in order of importance)

So a little lesson that sometimes in disappointment, nice things can come.

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PS Have you read all the Game of Thrones books? Want to talk about brilliant theories of what might come next if George R R Martin ever gets on with writing another book? TALK TO ME.

PPS I'm not weird, I call her Mumsie because that was what Richard O'Brien used to call his Mumsie on The Crystal Maze. What can I say - I'm a product of the 90s.

Lately...

I know that I need to continue my American Tale at some point (it involves me road-tripping around Arizona and not an adventure seeking mouse unfortunately) but I'm finding it very difficult to get motivated to write these blog posts at the moment. I'm very neglectful and I'm not really sure why.

I took my break from blogging and came back because I definitely felt like I wanted to but for some reason, no matter how many ideas and random words and phrases come bubbling to my mind, getting those out of my fingertips and on to the keyboard is just not happening.

I've decided to ease the pressure off and going for the easiest of easiest posts - one involving photos and one liners.

So. What has been happening lately?

L-R [1] Reading in bed; [2] Accidental flowers; [3] Afternoon drinking; [4] Hungover shopping

Easter has been the perfect blend of time to relax and time to have fun. I do feel like I've spent the past four days or so either drunk or hungover, which I'll be honest with you, is perfectly ok with me.

[1] Festivities for me began on Thursday night, going out for drinks with some work people. Good Friday started off well for me, which basically consists of reading in bed and drinking tea. There's something about reading in bed which feels incredibly decadent to me. No Ferrero Rocher needed thank you - mug of tea and some pages to turn is all I need.

[4] However...whilst hungover I committed the greatest of sins....I went shopping. Big mistake. I needed to get food so sloped off to Tesco to see what I could find. All I needed was lunch, instead I came home with - a candle, a can of Coke, Nivea face-wash, two small packs of sushi, Moroccan cous cous salad, chocolate pretzels, pack of six hot cross buns, sausage roll, massive bag of crisps, a top.

I'm still not entirely sure what happened in there, it's all a blur. Still I got enough food for the rest of the Bank Holiday weekend and the top is nice...

[2] The Person and I headed off to Nottingham on Saturday to spend the night with some friends. I dutifully bought flowers to give to our hosts (my mother would be so proud) which I actually forgot to take with me so we now how some lovely flowers for the house. Winner.

[3] Saturday was the perfect kind of day of afternoon drinking, followed by dinner out and more drinking. Relaxed and happy and laid back. I had some of the strongest cider of my life at The Crafty Crow. Kopparberg it was not.

L-R [5] Spooning gerbils; [6] Amazing reading; [7] Dog walking; [8] Creme Egg bonanza

[5] The gerbils have been as cute as always but lately I've been able to take some megacute (I just invented a word!) photos of them. They have a cottage that they normally sleep in but decided not to bother for a while, instead choosing to make a toilet roll nest in the corner of the gerbilarium. This meant I could take photos of them sleeping. Gerbils sleep on top of one another, entwined around one another, curled up on top of one another, and as this picture shows, spooning each other. Darn their cute little furry heads.

[6] This book is amazing. You should read it. That's all I'll say.

[7] I was on dog and nephew sitting duty. I took Rosie for a walk and we came upon some cows. These cows were initially at the other end of the field and came practically running to this end to stand staring at her. I wasn't sure if they were afraid of her or curious about her but I do know that I still have a healthy fear of cows.

[8] My work is super fun sometimes. Case in point, I get asked to buy everyone Creme Eggs for Easter. People love it when that happens. I am the Candy Lady.

L-R [9] Middle class snacking; [10] The walk towards Wembley; [11] Match in play; [12] Final score

[9], [10], [11] & [12] Luckiest most randomest break ever. I managed to get hold of tickets to the FA Cup Semi Final match at Wembley between Hull City and Sheffield United. Yes they were corporate tickets - boo hiss etc etc. But it was literally impossible to get tickets any other way so I'll take what I'm given and enjoy my non-segregated area of non-football louts thank you very much.

On the train down to London we were very much out of place. Amidst football fans drinking cans of Carlsberg I sat being the very most middle class football fan there was, drinking cocktails from a tin and eating my Graze brownie. Boom.

It was a stressful match. What should have been a fairly easy game for Hull City, as they are two Leagues above Sheffield United, they made incredibly difficult for themselves, going 1-0 down, then equalising, then allowing Sheffield United to score again less than two minutes later, before immediately going into half time. 

Thankfully the half time break was used for head pulling together and Hull City came out the winners. It is not often that I'll get the chance to go to Wembley to watch Hull City and see an eight goal game. It was absolutely amazing, unreal and I can't believe I got to go.

Now need to figure out how to get tickets to the FA Cup Final where Hull City will face Arsenal....

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So there you have it. What have I been doing lately? In summary:

- Gerbils

- Dogs

- Drinking

- Eating

- Reading

- Football

Not bad, my friends, not bad at all.

May Project 365 Round-Up

"Woah. What's going on here then? You can't post a round up of May's Project 365 photos before May's even finished!"

Well yes I bloody can. It's my blog and I'll do what I want to. Especially when I have blogged every. single. day in May and am feeling fatigued and need an easy post.

If today and tomorrow's photos are really amazing, I'll give them a post all of their own, I promise.

May

Clockwise L-R: Blackpool baby yeah; Rosie on a wall; crocheted elephant; Coke bottle with my name on it; Lily cat; Hull 10km that wasn't

26th May - Oh I do like to be beside the seaside! Especially when it involves eating fish and chips, gawping at people, getting accidentally burned, freezing my feet in the Irish Sea and drinking a bucket of gin. Read all about it here.

1st May - Rosie is a funny old one. She doesn't really enjoy being on four legs you know. She can always be found up on her hind legs at the kitchen counters, up on her hind legs asking for a hug, and here, up on her hind legs on the wall that overlooks the castle when I took her for a walk.

13th May - I crocheted an elephant everyone! Aren't I a clever monkey. Not the people who wrote the pattern they're not clever at all, but I am the clever one for following it correctly and producing an elephant. That doesn't stand....but let's not dwell on that.

8th May - "Oooh look at me, I'm all sneery and so sick of seeing Coke bottles with people's names on them" - is something you will hear me say never. I think it was a great idea and it makes me smile and I don't even feel bad about it. Instead I feel bad for the souls who cannot find the joy in anything in life. The one drawback to Coca Cola's idea? People like me who are a bit weird and now can't buy the bottle unless it has either my name on it or someone who is connected to me's name on it. I don't want to drink Amy's bottle of Coke, that's just weird.

18th May - It is hard to get a photo of Lily where she doesn't look either deranged, massively overweight or as if she's descended from bats. It turns out the secret is to take a picture of only head, from side on so you can't see the size of her ears or her crazed eyes. I like to think this is how they take pictures of Kate Moss too - I bet she looks deranged from certain angles too.

19th May - How could I not include this photo? Let us all revel in the delight that was the Hull 10km that actually wasn't a 10km. I've pretty much given up complaining about it now, mostly because I've run out of people that haven't heard the story. However this t-shirt is wonderful - it's a good size it's a nice colour and doesn't make me feel all gross when I run. I'll take my good t-shirt with lies written all over it and go and run a 10km somewhere else thank you very much.

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This is quite the achievement. Not only have I got to the end of May and managed to blog every day - I've also managed to make it 5 months taking photos every day when I actually haven't got a life at the moment. 

High five!

All Project 365 photos can be found here on Flickr. Don't let the new layout throw you out and give you a headache like it did to me.

Beside the Seaside

You know what's good about living in Preston.

Besides parks that have hills you can roll down obviously?

It's only a wee 30-odd minute train journey from the mecca that is Blackpool.

Bank Holiday Sunday was full of the sun again and The Person and I know not to look a sun-horse in the mouth and took ourselves off to Preston station, paid our £8.10 and headed off to wonderland.

I hear a lot of bad stuff about Blackpool and some of it may be true. I have yet to experience a night out in Blackpool which is probably what colours a lot of people's notions about it. But for me it is glorious.

Stay right by the front, don't bother crossing the road (except when you need to visit all the Poundland shops to buy a pair of sunglasses because you left yours at home) and just delight in walking along by the front. It is clean as a whistle, and with the sun shining and the smell of fish and chips in the air I have absolutely no idea why anyone would have a bad word to say about the place.

It's been a long while since I've been to Blackpool - almost three years in fact. The biggest addition is the Comedy Carpet which left me absolutely gobsmacked. I'd heard about it, but had no idea just how big it was. We spent ages, wandering over it, laughing, beckoning to each other to come over and read something we recognised - it was a brilliant idea and whoever was in charge of commissioning it should be given a round of applause.

Just ever so slightly less new is North Pier which we took a stroll down a couple of times because once just wasn't enough. As the old-time songs wafted past our ears from the speakers and we looked at the sweet old couples sat on the benches, The Person came over all romantical and told me he loved me. I'm putting this down here because he will deny it ever happened and I will show him this post and go HA. YOU LOVE ME. and then we will go about our ways.

Some of it was naff. In fact a lot of it was naff, including the guy who beckoned us over to the stall where you throw darts into playing cards saying "Come and have a go and win your girl a teddy". That nearly made the feminist inside me rise up and bite - I was tempted to take up the darts and throw them myself but remembered at the last minute that I can't throw darts and probably wouldn't prove a point worth making.

As we wandered along The Person said to me "This is funny isn't it? Because we're enjoying it in an ironic way and also, just enjoying it."

And enjoy it we did. The Person is blase about the sea because he grew up with it literally at the end of his street. I grew up about an hour away from the sea (let's say it again in case some of us are new and some of us have forgotten - Hull is not on the sea. It's on an estuary. Trust me, you don't want to go swimming in it.) and hence behave like an excitable Jack Russell when I get near it, immediately wanting to get in it and paddle about and feel the sand between my toes.

How I know I'm a blogger - I take photos of my feet in water

The Person feels this need much less. When the sea is on your doorstep you know you don't need to go in it at all costs - especially when it's the end of May and the Irish Sea is approximately -3 degrees. Whatevs. You lose all feeling in your feet after a while when it's that cold anyway.

We also found the holy grail on our wanders. A bar that is literally on the sea front and isn't tacky. The Beach House was lovely and although we didn't eat there (why would you when you can get a chippy from a stall?) the food did look lovely. The Person drank his pint and I drank my bucket of gin (seriously. Put cucumber in your gin and tonic. It will change your life. Also. Drink Hendricks gin. It is out of this world.) and yeah it wasn't the cheapest round I've ever bought but it was worth it to sit and look at the sea and gawp and judge people's bad parenting skills.

We took our frazzled little, slightly sunburned selves back on the train and collapsed on the sofa for the rest of the evening.

With Bank Holidays like this it almost makes it worth working for a living.

Rollin'

I feel like we can't really complain you know. Yes the weather has been atrocious just recently, it really has been ridiculous. But we've had two Bank Holidays in May and both have been filled with glorious sunshine.* (See the early May Bank Holiday post here) You have to give the weather credit for that. I am anyway - I don't want to anger it and seem ungrateful and be punished with an even worse summer than last year.

This Saturday The Person and I had to head into town on a little shopping errand. The Person had an unfortunate incident earlier in the week which saw him completely rip the crotch of his work trousers - apparently the act of getting out of a car was too much for his trouser seam, which ripped to reveal a hole so big you can fit your fist through it.

But I digress.

We were in town, the sun was shining and trousers bought, we had no other plans for the rest of the day.

This bright spark here came up with a smart idea. We would go and get sandwiches and go to Avenham Park, possibly my most favourite place in Preston, and sit in the sun for the afternoon.

And so we did. We sat up in an absolutely massive bank so we could survey our lands before us. The Person sat quietly and read, whilst I laid on my back and took photos of the sky, my new favourite hobby, and bugged him and complained that I was going to fall down the hill because it was too steep, and panicked that my crisp white skin was burning under the rays.

I then had the best idea I've ever had, which was to roll down the hill a la a small child. I wasn't too sure if this was a good idea or not, I'm not famed for my excellent judgement and my "Amezzing ideas" tend to end up in tears and pain but The Person assured me that I could just roll "a bit" and stop myself.

No. No you cannot roll a bit and stop yourself.

I can let you all know that gravity works my friends. It works like a dream. The second I set off I was out of control and all I could hear The Person's voice, getting fainter and fainter, going "Oh my god, STOP!"

I eventually came to a standstill, my head absolutely spinning and totally unable to stand.

And promptly went back up to the top and rolled down again.

Kids know where it's at my friends. They understand the FUN.

I eventually persuaded The Person to join in the fun and he gave it ago but I couldn't leave it well alone and, on my final roll down the hill, ended up with one leg of my jeans completely covered in mud and with bird poo on my t-shirt.

I don't regret a minute of it.


*Or at least they have been in the Midlands and in Preston. Just covering my back here folks.

Bank Holiday - BEDM Day 6

I love May. Two Bank Holidays - what lucky ducks we are.

I had made plans to spend this Bank Holiday up at my sister's and the 2nd down in Preston with The Person although this plan has been slightly ruined due to the fact that The Person's work doesn't let him have the 2nd Bank Holiday in May off, instead giving them two in August.

Idiots.

Anyhoo. This Bank Holiday saw me in my adopted home town, ready to see what delights it had to offer me.

Here's how it went down;

Saturday

My new zebra friend; getting to grips with the Kitchen Aid; Raspberry Bakewell cake; Hull City get promoted to the Premiership; going swimming; BBQ time is here

Saturday was a busy old day for me. I got up early doors to make my way to the gym to go swimming for the first time in absolutely years. I used to love swimming and haven't been in so long, truth to tell I was kind of worried that I'd flounder and drown ungracefully in the pool but I actually managed much better than I expected and I'm definitely going to be making the effort to go again.

I spent most of the day crocheting. Hot on the heels of my crocheted zebra comes....another zebra. I haven't gone totally mad though. This little zebra is going to earn me some money. I was showing someone pictures of the other zebra and they asked if I'd make one for them to give as a present for a new baby that's arrived. Boom. Hurray for amigurumi being so damn quick to make up that I basically managed to do the whole thing in one day. 

It's a good thing I had something to keep me occupied as I was also watching the Hull City vs Cardiff game which would be the match which would determine whether Hull were automatically promoted to the Premiership or forced into the play-offs. I won't go into it but my god it was the most stressful game of football I've ever watched. I actually missed one of the goals due to the fact that I was stood in the kitchen with the fridge door open cutting cheese off the block and shoving it in my mouth. It's how I deal with stress.

I also helped my sister and brother-in-law put together the Mac Daddy of BBQs - probably the less said about the anguish that went into building this thing from a flatpack the better, but it's safe to say we all bear the mental scars.

Sunday

Today's biggest event? Attempting to go out for a long run. It wasn't my greatest success as you can read about in yesterday's post and it's annoying because when I feel like a run hasn't gone that well it just makes me mad for the rest of the day. I'm just a silly person like that.

One thing I do like about my long runs though is that I have decided to reward myself with a post-run smoothie - something to look forward to you know?

I got a recipe for one from a running website but I have been forced to bastardise adapt it so much that it bears little resemblance to the original. The oats are supposed to be wheatgerm. I don't even know what that is, which is a hindrance when you're looking for is in Tesco. There's supposed to be natural yoghurt in there too but I didn't have any so slapped a normal yoghurt in there as a replacement. Who cares? It tastes amazing and the addition of the oats means that it really fills you up.

The rest of the day was filled with total and utter sloth. Beautiful weather, plus the knowledge that there was no work tomorrow meant that I felt free to lie back in the garden alternating between reading and sleeping as the mood took me.

Reading with the blue skies; dandelions, I don't care if they're weeds, they're colour and therefore pretty; Rosie shows me how to properly laze on the Bank Holiday; Blinky uses my bedroom window as another door and heads out over the roof on important cat business; plane returning/leaving from East Midlands Airport; Blinky back from her important cat business.

Monday

My sister and I took to Calke Abbey a National Trust property which is just down the road from us. Our mission was to go to a craft fair which was being held there over the Bank Holiday weekend - craft fair? You mean something potentially interesting happening around here? Yes please.

We went and I spent money. I could have spent a lot more money. But you know what? That's all fodder for another blog post I think.

After wandering round the fair we had a sit down and enjoyed a wonderful past-time of enjoying the sun and passing judgement on what people were wearing in the sun.
e

As close to fashion blogging as I will come now - shoes from M&S (I know right?!); jeans from New Look; people's legs from Other People

I also forgot the word "Weather-vane" and called it a "Wind charm" instead. Not a high point.

Then it was home, to enjoy yet more sunshine. Only for a little bit though. I'm quite the pale Janet and my skin basically bursts into flames when it comes into contact with UV rays. I wasn't alone though. You never are in a house of dogs. Rowan kept me company and I finished Capital by John Lanchester. Should you read it? Why yes, yes you should.

And I'm still here now. Sat in the garden, enjoying the beautiful weather as I know I should be. Although, if I was going to be pernickety I'd say that actually when you're in the shade it's pretty windy and not that warm. Also I can't really see my screen that well so I apologise for any spelling mistakes or garish errors but I'm British - the sun is shining so I'm sitting outside whether it's practical or not.

Bring it second May Bank Holiday - the bar has been raised...

Newcastle in 24 hours

Oh yeah, I was going to talk to you about Newcastle wasn’t I?

You know I’ve got to do this in a list don’t you? Otherwise there’s just going to be too much text and I know you’ll switch off. Don’t deny it!

The Angel of the North
This was the only thing I really wanted to see when we went up there, but we were faced with our usual problem of how to go and see things when you don’t have a car. Answer? You use public transport baby! There are 2 buses that you can catch from Eldon Square bus station in Newcastle, the 21 and 22, appropriately named Angel Buses.

There are two stops you can get off at but keep your wits about you because blink and they’re gone. There is also a slight problem in that the bus stops on the opposite side of the road to the Angel meaning that you basically have to run across a dual carriageway which isn’t the safest option I’ve ever come across.

(I should point out that at this point it was raining. It was all kinds of miserable. And I left my umbrella on the Angel Bus. And yet I'm still smiling, that's how much I was liking Newcastle.)

So we walked up to her and our first thoughts?

Erm....she’s kind of not as big as I thought she would be.

I mean she’s big and damn hard to get in a photograph, meaning that you have to resort to arty type shots of just bits of her but she wasn’t the totally massive structure I was expecting. Sorry Angel. We hung about with some Spanish tourists, but really once you’ve seen her there isn’t a lot else to do so we caught the bus back into town.

As You Like It
I found this place on the tourist info website which has a list of places to eat. I figured we deserved a little treat so looked for somewhere nice and discovered this place. A quick check to work out if we could get there with minimum fuss (you can, it’s just on the opposite side of the road to a Metro stop) and one phone call later and we were booked in for a fancy pants meal.

The food was gorgeous, the portions were massive and the service was incredible. Two thumbs up (or four thumbs up if you include The Person in all of this). After scoffing we retired downstairs to the bar area to drink cocktails. As The Person went to the bar to order some drinks I started having a look about at the clientele.

My eyes came to rest on a bloke in a grey jumper and white shirt. “How funny. That man totally looks like Alan Shearer.” I said to myself. Then....”Wait a minute. That IS Alan Shearer!” How hilarious, come to Newcastle and see Alan Shearer, you couldn’t get more clichéd (unless we’d seen Ant and Dec or Cheryl Cole I guess).

Quayside

The Gateshead Millennium Bridge doing its blinky thing

Saturday morning dawned and our hangovers were knocking at our temples. We decided to head to the Quayside in the hope that fresh air would cure us. It didn’t, but a cheapo Full English breakfast did a pretty good job. We looked at all the bridges and were there in time to see the Millennium Bridge do it’s blinky thing – for those not in the know about the blinky thing, they close it and the pathway rises up and then down. Exciting.

The view when standing on the Millennium Bridge - that big silver slug is The Sage

Once it was back down we hop skipped and jumped across it to....

The Baltic
Hello modern art! We are cultured let us come and look at you.

Things you should know about the BALTIC:

- There is an exhibition on there at the moment which is uber cool by a guy called Maurizio Anzeri – he’s taken old photographs and embroidered over them. There could not have been an exhibit which was more suited to me. It was very exciting.
- There’s a very “moderny” exhibition that’s on the 3rd and 4th floors. When I say “moderny” I mean “I don’t get it”. And there’s a film that was flickering so fast it made my eyes water and started to become convinced that I was being brainwashed.
- Don’t be a clever dick and take the stairs. Get the lift. I cannot stress this enough. The stairs are a killer.
- The Baltic has the best gift shop known to man. I mean like seriously. As in we possibly spent more time in there than looking at art. I know the shame. But I don’t care because I bought awesome things.

Castle Keep
We like castles. It’s a fact. What’s not to like, it’s all history and stuff innit? You can go in the Castle and basically get lost inside it wandering about and up and down stairs and round corners. It looks tiny on the inside but it’s like a maze inside. I have no idea how they used to find their way about in the times of yore. It’s a wonder they weren’t all lying about with broken necks given the long dresses they would have worn, the lack of lighting and the craziness of all the stairs.

The entrance to the Castle

It’s not jam packed with exhibits and yes, those that are there could do with an update but I kind of liked that it was left alone and you could do as you pleased about it. And when you get up to the top you get some cool views of Newcastle.

View from the top

And inside you can totally pretend to be a gargoyle. You can’t put a price on that kind of fun. (Actually you can, it’s £4, but that’s pretty cheap in my eyes.)

And we managed to do all this in 24 hours (arriving in Newcastle at 12pm on the Friday and being back in the hotel room to get ready for the wedding by 4pm on the Saturday). Pretty impressive. We didn’t even get to go to the beach and play Pirate-themed mini golf which was an option if the weather hadn’t been so crap.

So. When can I go back please? 

A love letter

Don’t tell Manchester but I totally cheated on her this weekend.

I didn’t mean to and I would have sworn blind that my heart belonged to her but this past Bank Holiday weekend The Person and I fell in love with a new city.

Newcastle.

Seriously don’t tell Manchester, she’ll be devastated. I really couldn’t say if this was just a fling or a full blown love affair and I would hate to call it all off because of two days of passion but I can’t lie. We had fun.

The reason for our little excursion was that of a wedding. Normally I wouldn’t travel all that way just for an evening do but The Person and I won’t get to do a holiday this year (or probably next year. Or the year after that) so we decided that Newcastle would be our holiday. I believe the cool kids are calling them city breaks.

The wedding do was on the Saturday and we had a good deal on a Premier Inn out near the airport so we decided to travel down on Friday morning, giving us a good couple of days to have an explore and a wander.

I didn’t really know that much about the city and was at a bit of a loss as to what to do and where to go. I’d been on the tourist info website (which is really good by the way) and knew that I wanted to go and pay a visit to the ol’ Angel of the North and I knew that The Person has an almost worrying enthusiasm for a bit of Castle action so we had a couple of things on the list but didn’t really know much else.

Enter....Lucy.

I remembered that she totally lives near there and might have some hints for me so I promptly e-mailed her. And then promptly remembered that she was on holiday. But as I was travelling up on the train I got probably the most comprehensive guided tour of Newcastle in e-mail form from a lady who had only just arrived back from her holiday.

Seriously. It was amazing. Anytime we weren’t sure of where we were going or what we wanted to do, out came my Smartphone and up came the e-mail and we would have an idea. The trip became littered with “Lucy says it’s this way.” “Lucy says we should try this place.” “Lucy says the bridge blinks at midday” etc etc. We would have been lost without her. In fact at some times quite literally lost, I don’t think either of us has the best sense of direction.

I was a little worried that we’d lose most of the day travelling back and forth from the hotel but we were saved thanks to the Metro system. Let’s hear it for the Metro! The Metro is like the Tube but friendlier and about 100 million times less scary. In fact I think that before anyone attempts the London Underground they should go on a recce to Newcastle to practice on the Metro – you can’t go wrong, there are only 2 platforms but it would get you used to the whole system.

However. Don’t bother buying a ticket. The Person and I spent a total of £11 each over 3 days on Metro tickets which were never ever ever checked. There are barriers. But they’re not in use. There were even men in jackets. But they just stood and watched you. On the last day on the way back to the station I declared that I was not going to buy a ticket because I was sick of it. But then I remembered that I’m totally incapable of breaking the rules so I went ahead and bought one and then stamped my feet when that wasn’t checked either.

Anyway, let’s not spoil our weekend with a lover’s tiff, we love you despite of your non-Metro-ticket-checking ways.

I was totally going to tell you about what we did there but I realise that this blog post is already too long and that really I should leave it as it is – a love letter to Newcastle. (And Lucy.)

Next time?

Hell yeah this is in Hull - Part Two

Yeah we’re still on Bank Holiday. Yeah I know it was over a week ago.

Sometimes it is possible to complete forget what is right slap bang on your doorstep. Case in point, Pearson Park.

Now I walk through this park every single day on my way to and from work (apart from the days when I’m ridiculously lazy/late for work and get the bus in.) and I appreciate that it’s pretty and I appreciate the whole nature vibe it’s got going on but I’ve never really looked at it. Never really stopped to take it all in and I’ve never really thought to until I took someone else there. It’s strange to see things through someone else’s eyes. Instead of being the place I walk through to work or the park that I used to play in when I came to see my Grandma, it’s a totally new experience, a never before seen bit of greenery.

Like the archway. I know this arch. I walk through it some days. But I’d stopped noticing until the person that I was with wanted to know what it used to be.

Erm......I don’t know?! (Kidding I do. Kind of. I'm guessing it used to be the rather grand entrance.)

I also can’t remember the last time I went in to the Conservatory. In my mind’s eye it was this incredibly boring and muggy old place just filled with a load of plants. I think I’ve been to too many botanical gardens in my time and they’ve all merged into one because actually the place is rammed full of birds and fish and a ridiculously large iguana called George. I spent a good five minutes convinced that the dinosaur hanging off a branch couldn’t be real and must be a toy iguana whilst the ‘real’ George was much smaller and hiding in the undergrowth. Only when he blinked did I realise the truth. I’m sure iguanas shouldn’t be that big.

There’s all manner of very loud and very brightly coloured birds. I’m not a huge bird fan but I am a huge fan of pretty colours so I can put up with a fair amount of chirping and cheeping.

There’s more fish than you can shake a stick at including an incredibly large black fish who would scare the living daylights out of you if you were to ever come across him in real life, minding your own business and having a little swim. And way more importantly than any of the fish are the axolotls. When I saw these guys I began a little Axolotl Dance and immediately started snapping photos (no flash of course) because I know that I certain Mooncalf enjoys a good axolotl or two.

Apparently the day before we were in there it had been the 150th anniversary of the gifting of the land to create Pearson Park. I had absolutely no idea this was happening – why didn’t anyone tell me?!

As we sat and watched a bloke allow pigeons to land all over him to impress his delighted daughter, and watched a rather creepy bloke in dark sunglasses stand and stare at the ducklings I couldn’t help but wonder, how had I been so blind and never seen what was right in front of me all along?

Hell yes this is in Hull - Part One

Can you indulge me for a couple of posts please? Can we pretend that I’m not posting a week after Bank Holiday and that instead I am a mere day late? I could be wrong, but just lately I get the feeling that my employers want me to actually work for a living. It’s incredibly inconvenient and has really gotten in the way of my blog posting duties.

So you remember Bank Holiday right? Of course you do, it was a just a day ago.

You might have picked this up by now but I love my Hull. I’m not the only one, all of us Hull citizens (do we have a name?!) are fiercely proud of our mothership. And when I say fiercely proud I mean scarily, up in your grill, proud of it. Don’t be talking shit about our city. Only we’re allowed to do that. I think it comes from being constantly under siege, we have to be proud, we have to believe that we are the greatest because if we believed everything we heard about ourselves we’d all throw ourselves in the Humber and have done with it.

I don’t know why everyone hates us but nobody wants to say anything nice about us. Like, ever. Instead people will say “You’re from Hull did you say? Oh yes don’t you have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Britain?” “Isn’t Hull the obese capital of Europe?” “Don’t you have the worst schools in the UK?” “Is it true that the streets are so vicious everyone wears stab vests?” “Didn’t you get voted number one when the Crap Towns book was first published?” (Yes. It’s a sore point.)

The main problem appears to be that there is this general impression that Hull is a not very nice place, for whatever reason, which is then perpetuated to the point where it becomes fact. You’ll get people telling you about the city who have never even been there. Bad form, people, bad form.

I am on a one woman mission to promote my city. Yes at times it is a little bit shit but I bloody love it thank you very much and you know what? Some parts of all cities are a little bit shit sometimes.

This Bank Holiday someone came to visit me and I wanted to show Hull at its very best. However with no car and with guinea pig duties pressing heavily on me I felt somewhat at a loss as to where to take them.

Inspiration came in the form of East Park. The house I grew up in backed on to it so I was there most weekends when I was growing up. It’s where I first learnt what a wallaby was. It’s where I got bitten by a goose (horrifying experience). It’s where I played bob-down tig with my Dad only didn’t bob down fast enough, leaving me with a crescent shaped scar on my forehead where his fingernail punctured my skin. Aaah happy days.

The best thing about East Park is that it has it all. Playground? Check. Animals? Check. Grassy areas. Check. Places to climb? Check. Water play area? Check.

It was the rather lucky recipient of a £6 million pot of money from the Heritage Lottery Fund a few years ago for the purposes of redevelopment and it is now a work of art. Whereas I made do with a paddling pool which would be filled up in early July and not emptied until the end of August, children now have a whole trickling river to play in complete with fountains and Archimedes Screw. Whereas I used to vainly stand at the fence, willing an animal, any animal, to come near me, I can now lean over and touch goats and point at guinea pigs and get close to the deer and wallabies.

An albino wallaby! Hello my name is awesome.

The little sweet shop on the corner that was there when I was a wee thing is still there now and you can still get a bag of duck food for 50p and go and sit near the boating lake and get attacked by ducks and geese and pigeons.

(Luckily my life changing experience of being bitten by a goose has not totally traumatised me)

You can wander amidst the gardens and you can now go to a freakin’ cafe which they built with the new money. You can clamber amongst the rocks of Khyber Pass, albeit with a little more health and safety considerations than when I was young. You can climb up some steps and see this view in front of you.

Yes. That is in Hull people.

And even more exciting than any of this is the fact that I’ve discovered that East Park has a free outdoor gym in it! I saw a BBC Breakfast segment about this a long time ago but had no idea where was one here right under my nose. So much fun and I swear, if I lived closer (another misconception is that Hull is small. It’s not. It’s freakin’ massive) I would go here. Exercise bikes, cross trainer type contraptions (which are harder work than the real thing), leg press, chest press machines. All there and available for you to use. For free. Unbelievable. You might have to fight the kids for it however, I did a fair amount of muttering that went something along the lines of “I’m not allowed to play on their swings, why do they get to go on this stuff” but I guess I should be gracious and be pleased that young people are taking an interest in being active. (God I’m such a zen master.)

All this.

For free.

Just call me Hull’s Official Ambassador.