The ladies I miss

The other day the weirdest thing happened to me.

I couldn't stop thinking about Maggie and Maud.

For those not in the know, or who have forgotten in the mists of time, Maggie and Maud were my housemate's cat. I moved in with one of my Stitchette ladies, following my breakup and her and Maggie and Maud were responsible for stopping me from falling into a complete black pit of despair.

I looked back over my posts about Maggie and Maud and had to have a laugh. I was talking about Maggie in the same way that I talk about Blinky now - saying that she pretended she didn't love me when she really did. My good god she is not the same as Blinky. Compared to Blinky, Maggie was my adoring fan.

I miss her loud, yelling, scrowly meow.

I miss Maud's little chirruping and just plain beautiful face.

And I miss Dorothy - one of the few people I know who is capable of talking sense.

And so I leave you with another cat collage. Just like I did last weekend.

But it is Caturday after all.

For those who are interested - Maggie = black, Maud = tabby

Crazy Cat Lady Part 7: Maggie and Maud update

Oh my goodness it’s been so long since I did a Maggie and Maud update. How is this possible? You must have been crying out, desperate to hear word of them and I have ignored your calls. You must forgive me.

Maggie

I know I keep saying this but she does really love me. No she really really does. At Christmas, there were a few days where it was just me in the house and she became my best friend. She followed me about everywhere – by which I mean she would lie down and sleep near to where I was sitting and then get up and yell at me if I dared to move into the kitchen.

However she still persists in pretending she doesn’t like me when anyone else is around. It is getting better and if she’s feeling in the mood will get down from the settee where she’s been sleeping on her behind all day and shamble over to see me when I get in from work, yowling the whole way over so I appreciate the attention that she’s paying to me.

She had a rough old time of it over Christmas though. The snow and generally cold weather meant that Maud stayed in a lot more than she normally does and unfortunately seemed to get a slight case of cabin fever which she took out on Maggie by generally irritating her any way she could, including jumping on her out of the blue when Maggie was minding her own business. Maggie is a true “bark is worse than bite” type of cat – the noises and hissing she makes are absolutely dreadful but she has never once scratched me. Maud will jump on her and Maggie will make all the noises, but she just seems incapable of actually fighting back.

One of my favourite pictures of Christmas is this one that I took of them both on my bed one morning. Maggie appears to have erected a Maud barrier to get some peace and quiet.

Maud

Apart from spending large amounts of time irritating Maggie – her favourite game is to lie down and stretch out so that her paw is as close as it’s possible to get, without actually touching Maggie. It drives Maggie round the bend and Maud can sit there innocently and say “What?! I’m not even touching you!” – Maud has been her usual happy go lucky self.

She did not really enjoy the snow, she would ask to go out and then get upset with the white stuff and return indoors to bug Maggie some more. She did venture outside however when I went out to build Mr Creepy the snowman and once it began to melt and she wasn’t sinking in up to her stomach she went outdoors a bit more.

The biggest news however is that Maud appears to have a boyfriend.

On 3rd January Dorothy and I discovered a new visitor of the feline kind sat on the wall outside the kitchen peering in. Initially mistaken for Lady Celestine of Shedley it appears that this guy is in fact, well, a guy, and has been christened Baghera. He has been sighted a few times since but last Saturday I spotted some illicit nose-kissing going on between them.

I did point out to him that it’s kind of rude to go about snogging little girl cats when you haven’t even properly introduced yourself to the humans who live in her house but he didn’t say much, he’s kind of a cool customer. He doesn’t run away from you but he won’t really come near you either. I sat on the kitchen step for a ridiculous amount of time and he eventually deigned to sniff my hand, but rejected my attempt to actually stroke him. Rude.

------------------------------------

Here ends the Maggie and Maud update.

Things I have learned over the past five days...

• I miss going to gigs and watching live music. When I lived in Manchester I went all the time and now I’m in Hull there’s nothing doing. Mostly because no bugger ever comes to Hull.

• I also miss going to smaller gigs. I’d never been to big full-on stadium or arena tours until a couple of years ago and I miss just bobbing along to the Academy to watch someone. The atmosphere is a thousand times better and the tickets are about half the price.

• I love Goldfrapp. I saw her a few a years ago and loved her then and I still love her now. I’ve never been to a gig where the lead singer is so note perfect – her voice is haunting. (It would be nice to have a bit more crowd interaction though.)
• I should not watch The Office Christmas Specials before I’m about to meet my boyfriend’s friends for the first time. I will cry all over the place when Tim and Dawn get together, my eye make-up will be ruined and I’ll look like I’ve just had a massive argument. Alternatively, I should wait to do my make-up until after I’ve watched The Office Christmas Specials.

• When feeling nervous about meeting people for the first time I will turn to drink. I’ve tried to avoid it and I will continue to try to avoid it but for the moment I have accepted that it’s just inevitable. As long as I don’t drink too much it shouldn’t be a problem. Instead it masks my insecurities very well and allows me to actually converse with people instead of sitting in a corner and smiling inanely.
• Do not attempt to do Christmas shopping when you’re slightly hungover and incredibly tired from the night before. If you do you will balls up in Vom Fass and discover once you’re at the till that the nice £20 bottle of whiskey you wanted to get your Dad is actually £45 and you will have to go through the embarrassment of saying “Sorry. I can’t afford that, can we start again please?” (I’m still blushing whenever I think about it.)
• A Marmite pop-up shop has opened in Selfridges in Manchester and I want everything they sell. Like all of it.
• The Singapore chow mein from the Chinese takeaway at the end of my street is my new favourite thing and I want to eat it every day. Scrub that. ALL day, every day.
• That boy I’m seeing may just be more of a cat whisperer than I am. He walked in the house and within 5 minutes Maggie was sat against his leg, purring away. She hadn’t even come to say hello to me. And Fred – the little ginger whinger who hides from all who enter Mum’s house, walked right on over to him. My mouth still hasn’t closed from the shock of it.
• Lily will object to you putting elasticated Christmas -themed jester collars adorned with bells on her neck. But it will be hilarious. (There is photographic evidence but I’d need to steal my Mum’s camera first.)
  
• Rooms at the Premier Inn have the worst lighting known to man. I nearly killed myself when I first looked in the mirror upon getting ready for my friend’s wedding. And yes I looked that bad.
• Lovely, pretty (and expensive) dresses from Coast that fit you perfectly 2 weeks ago can suddenly be too big for you (I’ve only lost about 6lbs since I last tried it on) and this can induce major panic. Thankfully I have a wonderwoman for a housemate who advised I buy Velcro “just in case” it got too big. And didn’t just advise me, actually went out and bought it for me. Thanks to her the dress was velcroed to my bra and stayed up all night.
• Watching one of your best friends get married will be more emotional than you can imagine. So emotional that for about the first hour you won’t even be able to look at her without crying. Seriously. In fact even thinking about her started me crying.
• I’m still the best minesweeper in town. I didn’t pay for a drink all night. It’s not my fault people don’t like their champagne and don’t drink all the bottles of wine that are on their tables.
• Every time I see him, I leave, loving him a little bit more.
• Coming back to work on Monday when you’ve been off since Wednesday, sucks.

Getting the crochet on

Well aren't you all an excitable little bunch, I can practically hear you salivating at the prospect of some juicy gossip. I can confirm that I am most certainly not pregnant (note to self: read through things properly before you post them my dear) and I do not have a new cat. And I hate to say that I have unfortunately not cloned myself either. (But I am working on that one and early results are looking positive.) But I do have a friend of the male persuasion, a boyfriend you may call it. But I was being serious I'm really not going to be doing a lot of posting about it because I really don't want to go down that route again. Plus he reads this and will get a massive head if I say anything nice about him.

But I did think I would just share the knowledge round. Especially as someone is my Facebook friend and saw photos which kind of gave the game away!

So anyway....

----------------------------------------

Hot on the heels of my last blanket I decided I would see if I could manage to fit just one more in before Christmas and the lucky recipient of this one is going to be my Mum.

Her living room has lots of blues in it so the colour choice was all taken care of. When I went to France I chanced upon a yarn shop (god only knows what the lovely French lady thought of the over-excitable 20-something jumping up and down in her shop) and snapped up some lovely blues, with a dash of grey in there to break things up.

I soon realised that I would have nowhere near enough wool to make a blanket so I raided a market stall in Preston and came away with ridiculously large balls of wool in vaguely similar colours so I would have enough yarn to give me a decent sized blanket.

You know what though? I’m kinda bored of the granny squares. I feel like I’ve done them, I’ve conquered them and although I could quite happily carry on going round and round and round and coming up with new combinations (I am particularly proud of that patchwork blanket you know) but I felt that I should try something a little bit different. I contemplated trying the ripple again but I fear I am fast developing a phobia of it, just thinking about it brings me out in a rash. I will try again in the new year when I start crocheting something for myself for a change!

I turned to Jan Eaton’s 200 crochet blocks book and discovered something which looked familiar to me. At about the same time the blogosphere was filled with granny stripe blankets, inspired by Attic24, but here in front of me were the instructions to do my own little granny stripe square.

And so I set off. More than a little nervous. Although crocheting in the round hasn’t been too much of a problem for me, going from side to side has resulted in much more trauma than seems necessary and has seen the production of many a misshapen block. But to my complete surprise it worked. I followed the instructions and actually produced the right thing!

Before I carry on I would like to point out that my tension/wool/crochet hook could have been all wrong because these squares came out decidedly, well, you know, not square. Definitely more rectangular.

Once all the French wool was used up I stopped and assessed the situation. Lots of lovely stripy squares. Excellent. Except I didn’t want the whole blanket to be granny stripe squares, I thought I’d throw in a couple of your normal granny squares (see, I can’t leave them alone) using the market wool.

Which is when it hit me. I could have serious problems with squares not being the same size here. As I’ve mentioned some of them were lovely granny stripe rectangles, rather than squares, and that left me with no other option...

Learning how to block.

‘Blocking’ is a phrase which has filled me with horror ever since I started on this crochet malarkey. It has always sounded;

a)       incredibly complicated, and

b)      prone to disaster.

But I decided to bite the bullet. I did my research, thought about buying a blocking board, realised they were ridiculously expensive, and then read that you can block them on a bed. Couldn’t have been better timing because I was off  to Sheffield for the weekend, so on Saturday I rose, ripped the quilt off, covered the mattress in towels, grabbed as many pins as I could find, my trusty spray, my ruler and I set off on my intrepid adventure.

The conclusion? Blocking is a pain in the arse and almost literally back breaking (although to be fair it’s not the bed’s fault that it’s shoved up against one side of the wall). It’s tedious and irritating and I really can see why people spend the money on a blocking board. I would measure and measure and be satisfied, only to discover that the block had mysteriously come up with measurements of its own.

And none of this was helped by the arrival of my able assistant, Maggie, who did little to assist and actually made me block my squares around her. Worst assistant ever. She didn’t even go and get me more pins when I asked her.

I’m actually not entirely sure that it worked to be honest. I don’t think that the pinning was done particularly expertly, I think it probably suffered because I don’t think the yarn was 100% natural. The blocks do all appear to be the same size as each other but I’m definitely still whiffing a scent of rectangularness going on.

So in short I haven’t got the foggiest idea what’s going to happen now. I shall begin grannying, regardless of any worries, and just keep checking to see if my blocks are all coming out the same shape.

And don’t even talk to me about how I’m joining them together. Although Jan Eaton’s book does offer a small section on joining blocks together, these are just a demonstration of different stitches and not an actual elaborate explanation of how I’m supposed to join something that’s just a plain straight edge, to something that’s a granny. I don’t want to talk about it...

Stay tuned. I think this one’s going to roll and roll.

GRATUITOUS CAT PHOTO!

Maggie & Maud Update

“How are Maggie and Maud?” I hear you ask.


Well let me tell you.

Maggie is hilarious to the max. She persists in giving the impression that she hates me with every fibre of her body. But only when Dorothy’s around. When it’s just me in the house I become the perfect substitute and she won’t leave me alone – she follows me about the house yowling and complaining that I’m not paying her any attention. If I’m sat at the table on my laptop she comes and sits beside me. When I go and sit on the sofa she will immediately climb (ungracefully it has to be said) up and sit as close to me as possible. She has even sat on my knee (she’s not a bigger sitter on knees kind of gal) but only when there’s no one else around to verify these facts.

This behaviour was brilliantly demonstrated recently. I had a half day and decided to put my pjs on and lie on my bed, have a read, mess about on the internet. I allowed Maggie to come up with me as a special treat. She lay her full length on the bed, she found a spot in the sun, she rolled about, she got upset when I lay down and turned my back on her, climbing over me to snuggle in against my front. Until it got to about the time when Dorothy would be due back from work, at which point she went downstairs to yowl and complain at Dorothy when she walked in to let her know how awful I was and how I’d been ignoring her.

The truth will come out though Maggie. There are photos to prove it...

Maud is a mysterious little creature. She spends most of her time outside, although as the nights draw in she is tending to stay in a bit more. She does her best to rile Maggie up by going and sitting as close to her as possible – she knows that although Maggie makes all the scary noises and hisses and growls at her, she never actually follows through on anything and secretly quite enjoys lying with her.

Maud’s most annoying trait is to not come in when you open the door and call for her, but to wait until you’re on the toilet or in the bath (our bathroom is downstairs by the way in case this doesn’t make sense) or making a cup of tea at which point she will howl relentlessly and pitifully to be let in and will not stop until the door is opened. This means that more often than not you’ll hear an exasperated cry from myself or Dorothy in the kitchen that will be something along the lines of “In a MINUTE Maud!”

She has also taken to Eddie’s trick (ah Eddie, I still can’t say your name without a tremor in my voice) of sitting on the garden wall, except instead of peering in at us, she somewhat creepily stares intently at the students who live in the house next door to us. She is an official Peeping Thomasina.

-----------------------------------------------------

Here ends the Maggie and Maud update.

Crazy Cat Lady Part 4: Kitty friends

Remember Eddie?

He's my best friend now. He loves me so much. And the feeling is mutual. It's crazy cat lady love.

He's just a great big lump and when I scoop him up I have my arms full of cat which is what I remember from my childhood and picking up our cat Smudge, which makes me feel all nostalgic. But apart from that it's just his whole demeanour. Far from being the Eddie von Grumpy Face which was his original name, he just continues to be the softest lad going.

And most endearing about him is his desire to be the best of friends with every other cat that happens to come in to the garden. He's determined to make friends with Maud but he's so over-bearing and desperate that he tends to get all up in her face and scares her off. He sees her coming and gets incredibly excited and  leaps down from the fence to run up to her and then has to pull up short when she hisses at him. She doesn't hate him, she just wants him to be a little bit subtle.

Eddie still continues to push it though and won't let her be. She decided to sunbathe in next door's garden the other day and Eddie took this as an invite for him to join her. It was ridiculously cute, he mirrored everything that she did, lying with his chin out when she did the same, looking up when she did. He's so gormless.

And it's not just Maud...

We discovered the other day that he's friends with Professor McTufty which seems the most unlikely pairing since Katie Price and Gareth Gates. The dazzling learned Professor and the cheeky little market stall owner, gadding about all over Hull. As usual, Eddie is a little more into the friendship than Tufters, but the Prof is a cool customer and lets him do his thing and follow him about.

Eddie having difficulty understanding the meaning of personal space

The past couple of days, Professor McTufty, Eddie and Maud have all been chipping about the garden. Maud keeps a ladylike distance, watching proceedings from the safety of the wall. I did catch Professor McTufty giving her the eye the other day, I guess he's on the search for a Research Assistant...dirty boy.

All we need is Lady Celestine in on the action and we have ourselves a decent kitty party.

I need to get out more.

Maggie and Maud Update

Where you wondering how Maggie and Maud were doing?

They are doing just fine.

Maggie has developed a rather annoying hilarious habit of jumping up on the sofa the second I stand up to go somewhere. She has developed a lightening quick ability to do this. Last night she was on there when my backside was barely three inches up from the seat. She persists in doing this despite the fact that she knows I’m going to move her when I come back.

Instead she glares at me, daring me to move her, and occasionally yowls at me in as much to say “Why are you so awful to me?!” What’s ridiculous about this is that I actually try not to move her and will jig about doing bits and bobs so that I don’t have to sit down just that minute or try to manoeuvre myself into the 5cm gap she’s left me to sit in.

Eventually I will give up and apologising to her, pick her up and move her. This is no mean feat. Maggie does not like to be touched. And will let you know this in a series of ear shattering growls and yowls and hissing. The strange thing is she absolutely does not bite or scratch you. It’s very strange, if you heard her you would think she’s the ultimate basement kitteh but she’s not evil at all. Really.

She will be absolutely outraged that I have deigned to touch her and will fling herself off the couch on to the floor in a heap of fur (she’s not the most graceful of kitties), only to return approximately 2 minutes later to get up in between Dorothy and I and lie out her full length against my thigh as if the incident has never occurred.

Maud is still beautiful. Although we have come to the conclusion that Maud could never be a model after all because she doesn’t really photograph well. No idea how she manages it but her true beauty and cuteness never seem to be accurately portrayed when you point a camera at her. Maybe she gets stage fright.

Maud comes and visits me in my room sometimes. Usually I am oblivious of her presence until I get into bed and she appears from under my bed and comes up on to the bed to see me. She will then proceed to throw herself down and do her super-cute face which requires you to stroke and tickle her. I get all excited when she comes and sleeps on my bed but alas it is never an all-night option. She doesn’t stay long before she gets off and goes to try and get into Dorothy’s bedroom or sleep downstairs.

I know that she sleeps on my bed during the day however and I am ashamed to admit that I have on a couple of occasions made my bed in the morning just for her to lie on. I know, I know, I agree, I'm mental but I’m being honest with you. Some mornings I can’t be bothered to make the bed and do it when I come back from work but some mornings, if Dorothy’s door is firmly shut, Maud comes in and sits on the bed and looks very forlorn amongst the chaos of quilt and blanket. So. I make the bed so she has a nice, flat surface to sleep on. I am seeking medical attention don’t worry.

I still haven’t got a brilliant photo of her on my bed, which annoys me greatly because she looks most beautiful against the crocheted blanket goodness. But I do have a rather blurry quick one that I took one night.

Here ends the Maggie and Maud update.

The new ladies in my life.

And so things have changed somewhat in my life.

I have moved out of the flat I shared with the boyfriend and am now sharing a house with a friend.


It's been difficult.


There have been times when I could have cried, when I would stop and really think about what I'd done and the changes I'd made. But I know that I've made the right decision.


Still, even though you've made the right decision it doesn't mean it's not hard. I have felt almost permanently guilty over the past few weeks, guilty for the pain inflicted on other people, guilty if I found myself enjoying life, guilty if I felt a little self-pitiful. After all I'd made the decision, I didn't have a right to be upset about things.


But I've got through it eventually. For the most part anyway.


And how could I not get through it when you consider that not only am I sharing this house with a friend, but also with 2 rather special ladies...


Meet Maggie and Maud.

Maggie. She is the original basement kitteh (for those of you that go on icanhascheezburger.com. And if you don't, why the hell not?!). She's a little grumpy face and she yabbers away at you in a most disgruntled fashion but she's nowhere near as scary as she looks, it's all a front. She doesn't really go out of the house too much, and if she does she doesn't go far, she'll join you in the garden just to see what you're doing. But really she just wants you to sit on the sofa so she can sit next to you.
Maud. The uber beautiful feline. And teeny tiny. She's a delicate little number, I've decided to call her Kate Moss because she's like a model kitty. Love love loves the outdoors and can mostly be found yelling at me to open the door for her to go out and have a little wander. She'll come out and join you in the garden, dropping down in next door's garden (currently unoccupied) and then yowling at you to come and join her on the other side. Maggie does not like the Maud - most likely jealous of her looks and figure.

But these are just the ladies that live here with me. It turns out that where I'm living at the moment is a haven for the cats. And we all know how I feel about cats. (Don't you?!) I have set to work immediately trying to befriend all and every cat that passes my way. There are 2 in particular that hang about the garden that I have made friends with, we have named them Eddie von Grumpy Face and Professor McTufty, haven't got photos of them yet but we're not far off, our relationship is developing as we speak.

Life is starting to look good.