Observations of the unemployed #005

There is a direct correlation between the length of time unemployed and a decrease in productivity.

You begin by being quite fired up - you're not going to waste this time you're off, you're going to move and shake and get things done.

And then, before you know it, your boyfriend is coming in from work, asking how your day has gone and the only thing you can tell him is that there was a really good episode of Judge Judy on today.

Observations of the unemployed #004

Lots of nail varnish + time off unemployed = my nails have never looked so weird.

I am incapable of just painting my nails one colour. Instead I'm on a one woman mission to try and use as many colours/nail effects as possible.

(Don't worry, my fingers didn't shrink, that last photo is indeed my foot.)

My favourite thing that someone has said to me this week

On Wednesday this week I posted a picture of a duck and her ducklings that had appeared in the middle of the town centre because, you know, that stuff is cool you know?

And then a "friend" made this comment;

"Don't take this the wrong way but you need to get a job - you are becoming way too focussed on our feathered friends!"

Cool. Maybe whilst I'm down there you'd like to kick me in the kidneys with your hobnailed boots you massive jackass.

Because obviously I don't really want a job. I don't spend every day looking and applying for jobs. I'm just sat here waiting for the next bird to walk past me. 

So yes, I'm afraid I did take it the wrong way. Up yours you insensitive tool.

--------------------------

And incase you didn't see it on Twitter and are not friends with me on Facebook I wouldn't want you to miss out on all the fun. May I introduce you to Danger Duck - who thinks it's an awesome idea to walk her ducklings through the town centre across many roads and absolutely nowhere near any water.

 

Things that The Person doesn't have in his kitchen

- A peeler

- A grater

- A ladle

- An oven dish

- Kitchen roll (he uses toilet roll instead)

Pretty much every other day The Person gets an e-mail from me going "Am I mad or do you not have?....." followed by him going "Nope" and then a reason as to why he doesn't have said item whilst I sit with my head in my hands at home wondering how the hell I'm going to make a meal this evening.

It's been interesting times in the kitchen...

Edited to add: Add a masher to the list. I just discovered there is no masher.

Observations of the unemployed #003

It's actually really difficult to fill in job applications and try and sell yourself when the very fact that you were made redundant means that you feel kind of worthless.

People will tell you over and over again that you shouldn't take being made redundant personally but it's incredibly hard not to as it is, after all, a form of rejection. I think it especially feels like that for me because I was the only person doing my job - it's not as if they were making a team smaller and someone got the spot instead of me, I was seen as just completely irrelevant and got rid of.

I find job applications difficult enough at the best of times because I'm not a crower and a bragger but they're even more difficult when you've been kicked in the teeth. There's a part of you that wants to go "Well if I worked for these people for 5 years and they couldn't see the point of me then how on earth can I make someone else see that I'm worth hiring?"

And that sucks.

Observations of the unemployed #002

In your quest to find new things to do and distract yourself from the depression which threatens to overwhelm you, you will decide to try a new form of social networking and join Twitter.

And then realise you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.

(But the highlight of your day will be when Graze replies to one of your Tweets.)

Come find me: @Shippers1983

 -------------------------

PS I think that I've been away so long everyone might have forgotten my sense of humour. Just to refresh: I am super sarcastic and the things that I say tend to be a little tongue in cheek. I haven't really taken out any payday loans and given all my money to sick children.

Observations of the Unemployed #001

Things that could happen to you when you've been unemployed for some time and have watched a lot of daytime TV:

You could give away all your money as a result of endless adverts urging you to donate money to various charitable causes - neglected children, starving children, just generally sick children.

But it's ok, you can get one of those loans which are a mere 2,567% APR.