Return to Running

I really think I've got the hang of it this time guys. I know you must be bored of hearing it but this time, this time, I think I've cracked running.

I know that periodically posts appear on here where I say something along the lines of "I know I stopped running but now I've started again and I'm really loving it again."

Well guess what?

I'm not going to buck the trend.

Last year was a bad year for me running-wise. A really bad year. Messed up knees, a messed up calf, sciatica - good lord it was dreadful. Nearly every time I went out running I felt bad after it - if not physically, then mentally. If I didn't run as fast or as far as I did the time before I berated myself for 'losing it', if I did run faster or further then I berated myself for not running even faster or further.

I came home from runs and cried. I came home from runs and sulked. I came home and swore I wouldn't go out running again. I didn't enjoy it, I made it as little fun as I possibly could.

Not this time. I have said that this year I would like to beat my 10k time as part of my Not Really Resolutions and to that end I've signed up for a couple of 10ks this year as some motivation. But the memories of last year were running deep and I was finding every excuse under the sun to not go out and run - it would be too hard, it was too cold, it was too dark etc etc.

Eventually I snapped. I came home from work one evening and decided enough was enough. I put on my stuff and just went out before I had time to think about it. I figured that of course it was going to be rubbish - the last time I'd run was the beginning of September and I was now at the end of January. But the important thing was to just get out, make the first move, go go go go.

And I went.

I went out and ran 3km. Without stopping. I couldn't really believe it. And I couldn't work out why it had happened.

It happened because I wasn't mean to myself. I just went out just to see what would happen. I didn't place any expectations on myself and the whole way round I didn't have a loop running in my head saying "Oh my god you can't do this, you're definitely going to be too tired". Instead I channelled my inner This Girl Can and said to myself "Hey, at least you're not sat on the sofa like you would have been. You're already winning."

 I went out running a couple of days later and it was much harder - it was absolutely freezing and I've been battling a mega cough for about three weeks - the cold air hit my lungs and shrivelled them up and induced a couple of such major coughing fits that at one point I thought I was going to throw up in the street. But I finished off coughing, assured the old couple who thought I was about to keel over that I was fine and carried on running. And I came home and said "Good work, you carried on running even though it was rubbish."

I went again and it was all fine. My knee hurt a bit afterwards so I didn't go out running again until it was properly better. I didn't try and force the issue and run through it. And when I went out running tonight it was the best out of the four runs.

I haven't once said to myself "You're only running 3km, you should be running further by now." When I feel like it, I'll run further and see how it goes. No more saying I have to run the whole thing. Eventually I'll be able to run the whole way. It might take absolutely ages, I might not beat my 10k time this year. But I'd rather not beat it and enjoy running than drive myself into a pit of despair and injury again by being constantly mean to myself the whole time.

So there are no training plans. There is no pressure. There is no more apologising that I haven't run that far or that fast.

Going out and doing any kind of running is better than sitting in on your arse.


Remind me of this post when I'm having a freak out that I'm not "improving", yeah?

The Staves - Rescue Rooms, Nottingham

Back in 2011 I went over to Belfast to see some family. Whilst over there we went to a gig in The Grand Opera House where I saw a band called The Staves who were the support act for James Vincent McMorrow.

This is why blogging is good you know - you can read about that trip and that gig right here.

We wandered in in the middle of their set and to say I was blown away was an enormous understatement. The first song I heard them sing was Winter Trees and it gave me shivers, it really did. That harmonising, the together-ness, the absolute silence of the audience whilst they were singing. I'm hesitant to use the word 'magical' because it sounds hugely wanky but instead let's just say that that moment stuck with me for a long time.

It stuck with me so much in fact that I have waited patiently for four long year before getting the chance to see them again. I have tried in the past but they either haven't played anywhere near me, or I haven't had anyone to go with.

My patience (and complete stalking of Facebook, Twitter and signing up to newsletters) paid off and when I saw that there was going to be a new tour taking place in 2015 to celebrate the release of their new album and that they were playing even a little bit vaguely near me at  The Rescue Rooms in Nottingham I snapped those tickets up.

And I mean snapped as soon as they went on sale in a kind of unnecessary frenzy.

Unfortunately the new album, If I Was, is yet to be released, the victim of record company re-scheduling, meaning that The Staves are out there playing songs from an album that none of the audience have heard. 

Actually a pretty daunting prospect when you think about it.

But it hasn't stopped fans like me and when I last checked their tour is all but sold out on two dates. 

My friend and I packed into The Rescue Rooms on Wednesday and I have never heard a crowd so silent as these unbelievably talented ladies changed their guitars and re-tuned between songs. So silent that I felt bad for coughing. Such the level of respect that fans are willing to just stand and wait with baited breath until they are ready to sing again.

It is rare beyond words to have the pleasure of listening to a band that sound exactly the same as the album that you have been listening to through your headphones for years but standing in that room felt like being in my living room - just with a lot of extra middle-aged, bearded people as well.

No-one cared that the new songs were new, it's impossible to not get swept away on the rivers of harmonies that sweep over you, I was a fan of some of the newer songs that feature a lot more instrumentals on and the effect on the crowd was immediate when the bouncier numbers were played. 

And that is how rare and special their talent is. To be able to write and perform songs which verge more into the 'pop-ier' scene at the same time as performing beautiful and simple unaccompanied harmonies which belong more on the folk side.

They performed some of the favourites from the last album, Dead & Born & Grown, including Winter Trees which was every bit as beautiful as I remembered it being four years ago.

It was worth the wait, but I hope I won't have to wait this long before seeing them again.

(By the way - you can pre-order the upcoming album, If I Was, on that there iTunes. You should do it.)

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Only one week into February and I've officially ticked off this month's Not Really Resolution to go somewhere new. I'm on fire baby.

Bradgate Park - The Winter Edition

I set myself a whole load of Not Really Resolutions this year and have then been steadily not living up to them ever since. We're in February and I still haven't been to any Park Runs (although I have cast iron excuses for not going, I swear) and the end of January was looming and I still hadn't been somewhere I'd never been before.

Inspiration was close at hand though and not only would I get to tick something off my list, I'd also get to meet up with one of my favourites, Janet. After mentioning on Twitter that I fancied a stomp around Bradgate Park she said she would keep me company on my stomping, and more importantly, lead me to the tea shop on the way.

I haven't had a little adventure in my car in a really long time and this was the first time that I got to use one of my Christmas presents, I lovely shiny sat nav. Although hilarity ensued when I set off and realised that after I had been messing around with some free voice downloads I had forgotten to change it back and had a goulish, monster voice, complete with echo, telling me to take the third exit off the roundabout.

We picked the winteriest of wintery days to make our stomping happen. The previous day had seen Tiny Town completely grind to a halt because of the snow and although it had mostly disappeared amidst the snow and rain there was an accompanying biting wind, whipping around our faces.

We duly stomped all the way to the top of the hill to see Old John Tower and the views out over Leicestershire and then completed a much more ginger form of stomping back down the hill which made me want to categorise the walk as PG - containing scenes of mild peril.

Seriously. Walking down a steep hill when there's no paved path and it's been raining has given me free reign to describe myself as doing my own stunts.

I didn't fall though. Came close. But no falling.

It felt so very very British. The scenery was that odd sort of beautiful because it was so bleak and yet felt homely at the same time. Janet said that it reminded her of really Northern scenery and I have to agree, I don't know what it was about it, possibly the hills, but it felt homely to me.

We walked past the ruins of Bradgate House and even saw some deer which I thought would definitely remain unseen. I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to take photos of them armed only with my phone. Not going to happen. You'll just have to take my word for it - deer were there and they were pretty.

After refuelling at the tea shop we not so much stomped as trudged back to the car. The icy wind had been behind us on the way down and was very much in our faces on the way back up. The pain in my face was unreal and it definitely stopped being fun pretty soon into it and just became something to be endured and got through.

Back at our cars and marvelling at our terribly muddy boots and wellies (nothing like a good bit of British muddy countryside to make you feel virtuous) I had one of my most brilliant ideas. We should come back each season and stomp around and fully take in how the scenery changes. When I say "we" there's a strong possibility that it's just going to be me stomping about, I haven't worked out yet if I have persuaded Janet to come a-stomping through the seasons with me. But I can hope.

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And yes. We are rubbish bloggers. We missed the opportunity to take photos of our scones in the tea shop, photos of our muddy boots and an excellent backdrop for some outfit photos. Damn.

The Not Really Resolutions 2015 - The Introduction

It's time. I'm ready for you 2015.

If there's nothing else this blog is good for, it's been absolutely awesome at getting me to set myself some actual goals and then attempt to see them through. Ok, they're not massive huge things, they're usually just stuff that I really needed to do anything but will never get done because I have a tendency to sit in front of the TV watching something with absolutely zero cultural merit.

I can't actually believe that this is the fifth year of doing these - anyone bored yet?!

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1. Read ten Classics/Non-Fiction
So for the past four years I have set myself the challenge of reading twelve Classics throughout the year. The idea behind this originally was just to try and expand my reading repertoire and it's been great at doing that but lately it's started to feel like a chore. It's become something that I've started to get a bit stressed out about and that's no good to anyone.

I've also realised that I don't read a lot of non-fiction and I wanted to rectify that. I didn't want to add in reading non-fiction on top of Classics as I'm not the speediest of readers so I thought I'd take my foot off the pedal a little bit and set myself the challenge of reading 10 books that are either Classics or non-fiction.

2. Go to two Park Runs a month (on average)
When I was looking at getting my car one of the reasons I was really looking forward to it was the freedom it would give me to do more. There is a Park Run tantalisingly close to me but inaccessible unless you have your own transport so now I've got it there can be no more excuses.

(I put in the "on average" when I realised that I'll be away for the first 3 weekends of January...)

This will also tie in nicely with number 3...

3. Beat my 10k time
Last year was the worst year ever when it came to running for me. It feels like I was injured in one form of the other for the whole year - I spent a ridiculous amount of money on physiotherapists and osteopaths and I was completely incapable of winning the battle between myself and my head when I was out stomping around the streets.

But this year is the year that I sort all this out. No more injuries. Just no. No no no no. Well I mean there probably will be, but hopefully nothing too debilitating.

I am roping in the help of my blogger friends with this one - I'm hoping that the encouragement of excellent runners like Miss Pond and Lucy will help me achieve this goal.

4. Design and make my own amigurumi
Last year was the Year of the Amigurumi and it felt like all I did in 2014 was crochet zebras, elephants and horses. But I'm still very much a slave to the pattern and don't have the confidence to take it off the page and out of my head.

But I know I have all the tools to make my own animal/character - amigurumi is basically just a series of shapes and once you can do one you can do any of the others - but I just need to take the time out to sit and design something myself.

5. Crochet an item of clothing
Amigurumi is sorted. Blankets are sorted. But I don't feel that skill-wise I'm really going anywhere at the moment. I see people who have never crocheted before picking up a hook and a couple of months later are dashing about in jumpers and cardigans that they've made. I need to take the plunge and do something out of my comfort zone.

(And no I promise I won't crochet a scarf and call this one complete :) )

6. Blog 3x a week (on average)
I'm an advocate of saying that blogging should be fun and shouldn't feel like a chore and I really do feel that way, but sometimes even with the fun stuff there needs to be a little planning and preparation that goes in to it. I always feel as if I have lots to blog about but I don't get myself organised and then it's easy to be lazy and then there's no point really doing it....etc etc. It's time to get organised. Three posts a week shouldn't be that hard.

She says...

7. Finish one cross stitch piece that's just for me
I have a couple of things on the go at the moment that I've put to one side in favour of crocheting. The trouble is that in comparison to crocheting, cross stitch just takes such a long time. The results are nowhere near as immediate and that can start to become off-putting.

8. Tetris blanket
No seriously. THIS is the year. I've neglected this for way too long. This year will make it the third year that it has appeared on a Not Really Resolution list. I'm not even going to say "Finish Tetris blanket" I'm just making it a statement and whenever I'm looking for something else to put on my hook I will hear a voice in my head that just says "Tetris Blanket" with a slightly disapproving tone.

9. Go somewhere I've never been before each month
This is a follow on from 2014's Do One Interesting Thing each month. I don't want to fall into a rut of doing the same interesting thing each month though - I need to keep challenging myself and now I have a little car of my own it should make adventuring even more fun.

10. Makeover three pieces of furniture
I've been slowly plugging away at getting the flat looking how I would like it to look. I figured it was time to do it so I can stop living life like a student, plus it's a nice distraction. I figure that as I'll be spending a lot of time in it given that I'm the only person responsible for all the bills now, it might as well look nice whilst I'm at it.

Furniture-wise I probably have everything that I need but it is still all a bit of a mish mash which is adding to the weird studenty vibe. Just giving something a little slap of paint will make all the difference I'm hoping.

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So there we have it.

Come at me 2015.