I’m having particular problems with a new person in my life at the moment. She came pretty much out of the blue, into one of my sets of friends, and I am feeling particularly hostile towards her and that isn’t really like me. I would under any normal circumstances enjoy having a new person in the group, someone else to breathe a bit of fresh air into things and mix it up and change the order of things, but at the moment I’m just feeling incredibly invaded.
Before I go on, I fully accept that this is my problem. I am all too aware that these are my own issues that I need to deal with but I am blurting it out on here in the absence of having anyone else to talk to about it.
Everyone has different ways of approaching new people. I’m not emotionally slutty when it comes to making new friends and establishing new relationships. I will sit back, take things in, wait and see if I really like this new person. I try not to force myself on people, I take the attitude that if they will like me they will see something they like about me, I don’t need to force myself on them and prove that I’m a great person. If they want to like me, they will find it eventually. I basically don’t come on strong before committing to a relationship with them. Because for me I do see it as that, I take my friendships very seriously and I want to be good friend to people. I don’t see life (or Facebook) as a rush to gather as many “friends” as possible, I’d rather make sure I’m investing myself in worthwhile people.
I think because of this, I have a pretty adverse reaction to new people who try to force themselves on me in an attempt to establish a friendship. Writing all over my wall, commenting on my statuses, liking my pictures, texting me all the time, is not the way to win my friendship. In fact it immediately makes my barriers go up and actually prevents me from even wanting to establish any kind of friendship with you.
It would be easier if this was a romantical thing that was going on. You could say to the guy/girl, “Hey, you’re actually coming on a bit strong, could you back off a bit please and let’s just take things slowly?” But with someone who isn’t even your friend yet you couldn’t say the same thing without sounding as if you have severe mental problems.
It’s taken me a long time to figure out what is I don’t like about this person. I’ve been saying “There’s just something about her I don’t like” which I recognise makes me sound as if I’m convinced she’s going to whip out a gun and kill us all as we drink our tea and sip our mochas. But it finally hit home the other day what it is that’s turning me off her.
It’s not just this way too full on approach that she has (I literally feel like she is everywhere in my life at the moment, something that Facebook has to answer for because it all too literally shows at times how someone is involved in your life) but it’s that she seems a very needy person.
I’m not cold-hearted in the slightest. I know that we all have problems and we all need friends/people to help us through those problems. I think the trouble at the moment is that I have a lot of “real” friends who are going through emotional trauma.
These emotional traumas don’t necessarily affect me in the slightest, but like I said, I take friendship seriously, and if my friends are having problems then, even if I’m not literally doing something to help, I’m certainly thinking about it and worrying about them and wondering what I can do to help them. Unfortunately there seem to have been a spate of traumas in my friend’s and family’s lives in the past year or so – there’s been marriage breakdowns, troubles with babies, people suffering from depression, people’s parents breaking up, relationship woes, fights with families, people not talking anymore – the list feels heavy-going. And whilst my own life is (relatively) smooth at the moment I feel like a part of me is ever so slightly invested in these woes because I love my friends and I want them to be happy and I feel upset when they’re not.
I think that this is the underlying reason as to why I’m wanting to keep this new person at arm’s length. Coupled with the fact that she is coming on way too strong, I think that this is my brain’s way of saying “Closed for business.” I cannot take on another needy person at the moment, (especially one who I suspect is prone to the “next new thing” and that I’m not convinced will stick around) I need to conserve my energy to being a good friend to my real friends, not having someone in my life who is just a drain. If one of my friends have a problem I’ll be there in a flash, but I’m not spending time on someone who puts out statuses on Facebook purely to get people to comment about how wonderful they are – that is not a person who values friendships, but is somene who’s looking to get as many people worshipping them as possible and I’m afraid I’m not interested.
It makes me sad because it means that I have made the decision to hold off seeing this group of friends for a while. And I fully accept that that is my decision – this new person is, I’m sure, a perfectly nice person - but until I can find some way of dealing with her that doesn’t make me want to scream I’m going to have to absent myself and get a grip. Unfortunately that means that some of my real friendships may suffer (although there is an argument to be made that if they were real friends then they won't let our friendship be affected by the fact that I'm not seeing them on one allotted day of the week).
I don’t know if this is a form of the “January Blues” (or if they even exist) or just the culmination of feeling the stress of other people’s issues but I don’t want them exploding out of me in a direct hit on an unsuspecting person.
That’s what you guys are for...right?
Now go clean yourselves up and carry on with your day.
Showing posts with label Stitch annd Bitch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stitch annd Bitch. Show all posts
Thursday, 19 January 2012
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Something New
So you may remember that one of my Not Really Resolutions for this year was to finally get all my photos from my holiday in France last year in an album of some sorts.
I didn't want to just put them in some plastic sleeve photo album but I equally didn't want to go down the route of mega-serious scrapbooking involving bits of lace and embossing powders. So (as I usually am in my life) I decided to try and tread some kind of middle ground and create something that was part photo album, part diary and not boring.
I'd had a couple of ideas of how I wanted it to go, I purchased a big map of the region while I was out there, along with a notebook that I wanted to use as the basis for things but I still wasn't feeling it was special enough.
Then one of The Stitchettes told us about something cool she'd seen - that people were embroidering on to postcards and the like, either random patterns or as a kind of doodling or as a way of adding fun details. This idea took route in my brain and stayed there until eventually, with a bit of a quiet day ahead of me a couple of weekends ago, I got all my tools together and made a bit of a start.
My tools consisted of:
You know those times when you pick up something that's new to you and you just run and run with it and get incredibly over-excited about it? This was definitely one of those times. I ran with things like a wild embroidery woman.
I've tried out a few things so far. Things like putting borders around photos....
...And adding embellishments to other photos...
I didn't want to just put them in some plastic sleeve photo album but I equally didn't want to go down the route of mega-serious scrapbooking involving bits of lace and embossing powders. So (as I usually am in my life) I decided to try and tread some kind of middle ground and create something that was part photo album, part diary and not boring.
I'd had a couple of ideas of how I wanted it to go, I purchased a big map of the region while I was out there, along with a notebook that I wanted to use as the basis for things but I still wasn't feeling it was special enough.
Then one of The Stitchettes told us about something cool she'd seen - that people were embroidering on to postcards and the like, either random patterns or as a kind of doodling or as a way of adding fun details. This idea took route in my brain and stayed there until eventually, with a bit of a quiet day ahead of me a couple of weekends ago, I got all my tools together and made a bit of a start.
My tools consisted of:
- Photos
- Notebook
- Map
- Thread box - specifically red, blue and white embroidery threads
- Ruler
- Scissors
- Pen
- Glue
- Pointy stick thing for putting holes in things (gosh I wish I knew the real name for this but it's brilliant, I got it from Hobbycraft)
- Cup of tea
You know those times when you pick up something that's new to you and you just run and run with it and get incredibly over-excited about it? This was definitely one of those times. I ran with things like a wild embroidery woman.
I've tried out a few things so far. Things like putting borders around photos....
...And adding embellishments to other photos...
For this one I drew the flower on with pen and then put strategic holes in it with the pointy sticky thing
...And I've used it to add fun parts to the diary side of things. Instead of just a boring list of places we went to, I used the threads on a postcard to pick out all the places we went...
...And I used the embroidery instead of the pen. Look! It's like writing!...
...And for picking out detail already on photos. You can't see it very well on this photo but I've picked out some of the girders on the Viaduc de Garabit in red thread to make it come alive a little bit...
All in all? I've been having a lot of fun. And hell I'm not even a little bit done with it yet. As with a lot of things creative, I had a mad splurge and then haven't really touched it for a week (but I had to pay attention to my ripple blanket, it's been so neglected lately!). But everything's all laid out and ready for me to start again when the mood grabs me.
Mostly I'm just excited. Like, really excited.
Can you tell?
Saturday, 5 March 2011
All hail the crochet cushion
I want to crochet a blanket. Like really badly. It annoys me that I can’t do this but no matter how hard I try I haven’t been able to put anything aside each month to create a Yarn Fund. I had high hopes for next month but that’s been dashed because I’ll have to be paying out £100 for the second hen do of the year that’s taking place in May. Oh and then May will be out because I’ll have had to pay for the actual night out of the hen do. And then I believe the third hen do of the year is currently booked in for the end of June. You see a pattern emerging?
Sigh.
But I still have my scraps. Scraps which have kept me going for quite some time. Scraps from all the blankets I made last year. The sit in their glass jars, looking all colourful and stuff and I have tried to put them all to good use. They made The Beast remember and they made some crocheted flowers to put on some cards but I still had an urge to do more.
And then I remembered that I said I wanted to make a cushion cover so the hook came out and the jars came down and I made a start.
I quickly knocked up 9 granny squares to make one side of my cushion and then I came to a screeching halt. Didn’t I say I was going to do different kinds of crochet this year? Didn’t I say I was going to stop grannying so much? So I stopped grannying and picked up Jan Eaton and picked out Number 3 of her 200 blocks, the Square Target. It was fun to do something new and I only made a couple of modifications (she wanted me to do 4 chain to turn a corner and I felt that 3 was probably enough).
I felt proud and ever so smug. “Look at me, crocheting something different” I smirked to myself.
Only then it hit me that I could come up against a potential problem. Making sure both sides of the cushion were of equal size so that they could be sewn up together. Cue panic attacks and much sweating. What would happen if my tension was all different? Oh my goodness the horror THE HORROR.
Then I came up against the realisation that my magic scraps really were turning into scraps. Obviously the trouble with doing one massive square target is that for each round you need just that little bit more wool and I was getting to the point where my wool wasn’t going to go any further. I'm not sure why I didn't just do 9 squares targets like the granny squares on the other side but obviously at some point in my head I was going for broke and doing one massive one.
Cue more panicking and sweating.
Luckily the gods of crochet were smiling on me and I managed to a) get both sides to fit the cushion and each other and b) I managed to make the wool last, just.
Then it was just a case of taking my cushion and its cover to Stitch and Bitch and crocheting the sides together around the cushion. Yeah, this isn’t a cover you can remove I’m afraid, that would involve a sewing machine and I still have a morbid fear of those. And if I’m perfectly honest I don’t think I’ve washed a cushion cover in my life. I know. What a grebber. Worst comes to worst I will bung the whole lot in the washer and life will be tickety boo.
But stop ruining it all with practicalities. Instead just feast your eyes on its amazingness.
I love that it’s got 2 very different sides. I know that some would prefer symmetry but I really like that I can turn it around according to my whim and it looks like a completely different cushion.
Well done me. Now, what else can I cobble together with my scraps?....
Sigh.
But I still have my scraps. Scraps which have kept me going for quite some time. Scraps from all the blankets I made last year. The sit in their glass jars, looking all colourful and stuff and I have tried to put them all to good use. They made The Beast remember and they made some crocheted flowers to put on some cards but I still had an urge to do more.
And then I remembered that I said I wanted to make a cushion cover so the hook came out and the jars came down and I made a start.
I quickly knocked up 9 granny squares to make one side of my cushion and then I came to a screeching halt. Didn’t I say I was going to do different kinds of crochet this year? Didn’t I say I was going to stop grannying so much? So I stopped grannying and picked up Jan Eaton and picked out Number 3 of her 200 blocks, the Square Target. It was fun to do something new and I only made a couple of modifications (she wanted me to do 4 chain to turn a corner and I felt that 3 was probably enough).
I felt proud and ever so smug. “Look at me, crocheting something different” I smirked to myself.
Only then it hit me that I could come up against a potential problem. Making sure both sides of the cushion were of equal size so that they could be sewn up together. Cue panic attacks and much sweating. What would happen if my tension was all different? Oh my goodness the horror THE HORROR.
Then I came up against the realisation that my magic scraps really were turning into scraps. Obviously the trouble with doing one massive square target is that for each round you need just that little bit more wool and I was getting to the point where my wool wasn’t going to go any further. I'm not sure why I didn't just do 9 squares targets like the granny squares on the other side but obviously at some point in my head I was going for broke and doing one massive one.
Cue more panicking and sweating.
Luckily the gods of crochet were smiling on me and I managed to a) get both sides to fit the cushion and each other and b) I managed to make the wool last, just.
Then it was just a case of taking my cushion and its cover to Stitch and Bitch and crocheting the sides together around the cushion. Yeah, this isn’t a cover you can remove I’m afraid, that would involve a sewing machine and I still have a morbid fear of those. And if I’m perfectly honest I don’t think I’ve washed a cushion cover in my life. I know. What a grebber. Worst comes to worst I will bung the whole lot in the washer and life will be tickety boo.
But stop ruining it all with practicalities. Instead just feast your eyes on its amazingness.
I love that it’s got 2 very different sides. I know that some would prefer symmetry but I really like that I can turn it around according to my whim and it looks like a completely different cushion.
Well done me. Now, what else can I cobble together with my scraps?....
Hmmmm when is crochet too much crochet?
Thursday, 30 December 2010
2010 - A Year in Review
This year I...
1. Got accused of being a terrorist
2. Finally finally got my wish for a niece
3. Learned to crochet and produced 4 blankets
4. I met Eddie, the cat of my life, only to lose him when he moved away (still sad about that by the way)
5. Broke someone’s heart.
6. Moved in with Dorothy
7. I had an exhibition with my fellow Stitchettes
8. I signed up to the cult of Weightwatchers and kinda lost an awful lot of weight (4 stone so far!)
9. I, you know, nearly died and stuff.
10. Saw more snow than I have ever seen in my whole life
11. Visited a new part of France
12. Fell in love again
13. Started a new blog (you’re totally reading it!)
14. Spent time with American Girl and American Boy for the first time in nearly 2 years (how was that a year ago already?!)
15. Watched someone pass away (the ex’s Grandmother)
16. Hosted my first ever giveaway on my old blog (I really need to do that again you know - next year I promise)
17. Saw Flight of the Conchords and Goldfrapp in concert
18. Got a better idea of who my real friends are.
19. Met Roy Hattersley and Henry Winkler (as you do)
20. Visited Blackpool for the first time
21. Saw one of my best friend’s get married
22. Babysat for guinea pigs for the very first time
23. Walked across the Humber Bridge for the very first time
24. Discovered that the gym wasn’t that scary after all and discovered the delights of Zumba.
All in all, not too shabby I reckon. Here's hoping 2011 is not quite as eventful!
1. Got accused of being a terrorist
2. Finally finally got my wish for a niece
3. Learned to crochet and produced 4 blankets
4. I met Eddie, the cat of my life, only to lose him when he moved away (still sad about that by the way)
5. Broke someone’s heart.
6. Moved in with Dorothy
7. I had an exhibition with my fellow Stitchettes
8. I signed up to the cult of Weightwatchers and kinda lost an awful lot of weight (4 stone so far!)
9. I, you know, nearly died and stuff.
10. Saw more snow than I have ever seen in my whole life
11. Visited a new part of France
12. Fell in love again
13. Started a new blog (you’re totally reading it!)
14. Spent time with American Girl and American Boy for the first time in nearly 2 years (how was that a year ago already?!)
15. Watched someone pass away (the ex’s Grandmother)
16. Hosted my first ever giveaway on my old blog (I really need to do that again you know - next year I promise)
17. Saw Flight of the Conchords and Goldfrapp in concert
18. Got a better idea of who my real friends are.
19. Met Roy Hattersley and Henry Winkler (as you do)
20. Visited Blackpool for the first time
21. Saw one of my best friend’s get married
22. Babysat for guinea pigs for the very first time
23. Walked across the Humber Bridge for the very first time
24. Discovered that the gym wasn’t that scary after all and discovered the delights of Zumba.
All in all, not too shabby I reckon. Here's hoping 2011 is not quite as eventful!
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
Christmas Wreath
I had a revelation some time ago. Some of the Stitch and Bitch ladies had decided that patchwork and all things sewing machine related were the way forward and discussions were apace. I felt massively out of the loop and tentatively asked the question, "Yeah but where do you get your fabric from?"
Judging by the looks on the faces I had missed out on some valuable life lesson.
Apparently I should have been squirreling away pieces of fabric my whole life - old clothes, picking things up in charity shops. Why did I not know this?! What terrible upbringing have I had that meant I missed the memo on creating a stash of fabric? I wholeheartedly lay the blame on my Mother's doorstep and I have chastised her accordingly.
I decided patchwork was well beyond the realms of capacity given that,
Judging by the looks on the faces I had missed out on some valuable life lesson.
Apparently I should have been squirreling away pieces of fabric my whole life - old clothes, picking things up in charity shops. Why did I not know this?! What terrible upbringing have I had that meant I missed the memo on creating a stash of fabric? I wholeheartedly lay the blame on my Mother's doorstep and I have chastised her accordingly.
I decided patchwork was well beyond the realms of capacity given that,
a) I didn't have any fabric and no money to buy any
b) Sewing machines scare the crap out of me
so I put it to the back of my mind and stayed firmly in the land of cross stitch and crochet where I knew I was safe.
But then at the Knitting and Stitching show in Harrogate I was faced with an overwhelming amount of fabric (in fact the whole thing was pretty fabric, not amazing if you're not a fabric person like me) and thought I might as well throw myself into the fray. I purchased a couple of fat quarters to start off my little stash and then came across some Christmas fabric.
And I mean proper Christmas fabric, nothing trendy and modern, full on, traditional Christmas fabric. And I remembered that one of The Stitchettes had said something about people bringing Christmas fabric to her house and something about making wreaths and so I took the plunge.
Apologies for the very bizarre red tinge to this photograph - when will we see the sun again?!
Time and life got in the way of me finding out about this Christmas Wreathing, not to mention monumental craft guilt that I should be focussed on Mum's blanket and not on frivolous Christmas decorations, but eventually I got my tutorial.
It was all quite simple really, cut the fabric into strips about 1 inch wide and 6 inches long and then tie in a knot around the metal frame.
Now. A word of warning - at the beginning, it looks terrible and you will want to give up. You have to stick with it and just keep on going, keep all the fabric bunched up as tight as you can together and it will gradually begin to take form. Thank the lord I had Chief Stitchette on hand to help me and encourage me to keep going or I would have long given it up as a bad job.
And you keep tying and you keep smooshing and you keep fluffing and eventually you end up with something like this:
At this point I have to apologise because I have tried and I have tried and I have tried to get a good photograph of this wreath but have decided it's actually impossible. For some strange reason, they don't appear to photograph well at all and just come out looking like horrible messes. You might need to take me at my word with this one, these wreathes do look good. Promises.
See. I even took a photo with the horrible flash on in an attempt to get a good picture but without luck!
I was more than a little bit pleased when I got Mum's blanket finished on Sunday as this meant I was free to craft whatever I damn well pleased and Productive Sunday was rounded off with the finishing of this bad boy, who is now hanging on my bedroom door, being generally festive.
Detail
I am definitely going to be on the lookout to do this again, there are a few people with birthdays near Christmas who I think would appreciate a bit of Christmas wreath action. And it took, at most, a few hours to complete. It does take up quite a bit of fabric - I had just enough to complete mine and that was 5 fat quarters - some of the other Stitchettes used fleece-type fabric which is obviously much bulkier so wouldn't need as much.
I am feeling the warm glow of smugness pride that comes with making my first ever Christmas-type decoration and in a way I'm looking forward to putting him to bed once Christmas is over, only to rediscover him in December 2011.
Sunday, 28 November 2010
No rest for the crafty
Don't think I was resting on my laurels this weekend just because I couldn't carry on with Mum's blanket. I'm a dedicated little monkey you know and the Christmas crafting carried on unabated.
I have bought some cotton bags off tinternet with the aim of embroidering some up to give to people as Christmas presents and first up is one for my Mum's friend.
I've had the Sublime Stitching craft pad for almost a year after one of the Stitchettes gave me it for Secret Santa last year. I periodically get it down and flick through it and then reluctantly put it back on the shelf because I can't find anything nice enough and deserving enough of its beautifulness.
But this little fairy would be absolutely perfect for Mum's friend so I got my sister's iron out and my book of embroidery stitches and set to with gusto.
At the moment this is what she looks like and I'm incredibly pleased with her. Especially the toadstool which is outlined in red glittery thread and red satiny thread, which is making it look like it's shining out at me.
I've tried out a couple of new stitches, my embroidery repertoire is pretty limited as it's totally new to me and I've never even attempted it before, preferring to stick to the cross stitch I know and love well. This piece has seen me try out a couple of different chain stitches and I've been pretty pleased with how they've turned out, I have plans for more chain stitching when it comes to her hair.
This has made me feel pretty excited to tell you the truth. I've got that giddy feeling you get when you do something new and you get all carried away with it, I need to be careful to not get so carried away that I forget my crochet duties.
I have bought some cotton bags off tinternet with the aim of embroidering some up to give to people as Christmas presents and first up is one for my Mum's friend.
I've had the Sublime Stitching craft pad for almost a year after one of the Stitchettes gave me it for Secret Santa last year. I periodically get it down and flick through it and then reluctantly put it back on the shelf because I can't find anything nice enough and deserving enough of its beautifulness.
But this little fairy would be absolutely perfect for Mum's friend so I got my sister's iron out and my book of embroidery stitches and set to with gusto.
At the moment this is what she looks like and I'm incredibly pleased with her. Especially the toadstool which is outlined in red glittery thread and red satiny thread, which is making it look like it's shining out at me.
I've tried out a couple of new stitches, my embroidery repertoire is pretty limited as it's totally new to me and I've never even attempted it before, preferring to stick to the cross stitch I know and love well. This piece has seen me try out a couple of different chain stitches and I've been pretty pleased with how they've turned out, I have plans for more chain stitching when it comes to her hair.
This has made me feel pretty excited to tell you the truth. I've got that giddy feeling you get when you do something new and you get all carried away with it, I need to be careful to not get so carried away that I forget my crochet duties.
Friday, 26 November 2010
Progress
This is another reason I like blogging, it makes me do things that I might not otherwise do. For instance, if I write in a post that I'm going to get my backside in gear and start joining together my Mum's blanket it's like a timer gets set in my head and I start thinking "Well I have to do it, I said on the blog didn't I?"
And so I am pleased to announce that one day on from posting about getting started on Mum's blanket I can reveal this:
Look! 9 little granny squares all joined up. The middle of the blanket is officially complete. (Does mini dance of celebration.)
I actually felt a little smug to myself, I managed to join all these together during Thursday night's Stitch and Bitch - a few months ago there's no way I would have been that speedy, I'm clearly improving.
I'm still hyperventilating a little because now comes the tricky bit and the joining of the granny stripe squares but that's been pushed to the back of my mind now. I'm off to Ashby de la Zouch with Mum so no more work can be done on it for a couple of days but I have vowed to myself that I will pick it up upon my return on Sunday.
And so I am pleased to announce that one day on from posting about getting started on Mum's blanket I can reveal this:
Look! 9 little granny squares all joined up. The middle of the blanket is officially complete. (Does mini dance of celebration.)
I actually felt a little smug to myself, I managed to join all these together during Thursday night's Stitch and Bitch - a few months ago there's no way I would have been that speedy, I'm clearly improving.
I'm still hyperventilating a little because now comes the tricky bit and the joining of the granny stripe squares but that's been pushed to the back of my mind now. I'm off to Ashby de la Zouch with Mum so no more work can be done on it for a couple of days but I have vowed to myself that I will pick it up upon my return on Sunday.
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