On many a cactus l America 2014; Part 6

We have reached the end.

I know there was a point where you probably thought it was never going to end, but I said I was going to get this done within a year of me being in America and damnit if I set myself a goal I'm going to achieve it.

So just a re-cap of what the hell was going on in America and why I was there:

I was over there to see American Girl and American Boy get married which was, as you would expect, brilliant. But before that happened I got to do some good old traditional American stuff like watching a Spring training baseball game and then embarked on a four day road trip which took in more sights than it should be possible to take in in that amount of time.

Day One - Drive from Phoenix to Monument Valley
Day Two - Drive from Monument Valley to Four Corners and then to Page, Arizona
Day Three - Visit to Antelope Canyon and then a drive to the Grand Canyon
Day Four - Visit to the Grand Canyon and then back to Phoenix

Once I was back and weddinged out there was time for one more piece of adventuring in Phoenix - this time heading out to the Desert Botanical Garden.

I'll be honest it wasn't my choice to go. There were a couple of other people over from England who were without a car and they had suggested going and if I had said "Naaaaaah, don't fancy it" then no-one would have been able to go. And nobody wants to be that girl do they?

In my head botanical gardens are kind of boring. They tend to be something that you're dragged to on a wet weekend where you are trailed into a slightly damp and muggy over-sized greenhouse where you wander around looking at ferns on steroids.

But you see I forgot that a botanical garden in Phoenix is not going to be the same as a botanical garden in Belfast. For a start - it's in the flippin' desert innit? No need for the greenhouse! And no ferns on steroids here, instead, about 4 billion types of cactus. And we all know that cacti are hilarious to look at.

Not only were there cacti there but there was wildlife to spot - we saw an actual roadrunner (it is not blue and it did not say "meep meep" which was a huge disappointment, but it did run almost horizontally so it pulled it back slightly for me.) - and we were lucky enough to be there at the same time that there was an exhibition by Chihuly, a glass sculptor whose work can be seen over here in England in the form of the glass chandelier in the V&A Rotunda.

His pieces of work were dotted all over the gardens, popping up in unexpected places and I'm almost ashamed to admit that I may have once or twice mistaken a sculpture for a real cactus, only to be terribly disappointed that the very pretty thing was glass and not nature.

It was actually a really fun tramp around, you could walk for miles without realising and some of the views were absolutely beautiful. There are several trails that you can take around the gardens and there's a wildflower and butterfly garden. (Although I stayed away from the butterfly garden because let's all remember that they are the creatures of the devil and not to be trusted.)

If I hadn't have gone, I'd have probably spent the day recovering from the wedding and being hungover on the sofa, which I can't lie would have been pretty good fun but pretty much a waste of a day when this was the other option.

So the rules to remember. Botanical Gardens in deserts? Not boring.

You are welcome,

And we're done.

Now I need to plan what to do next time I go over there...

BEDM Day 5 - Cinco de Mayo

I had never even heard of Cinco de Mayo until I went to see American Girl and Boy in 2008. We ran through the things that we would be doing when I was over – a bit of shopping (the £ to $ exchange rate was amazing back then, almost $2 - £1), a trip to Vegas, a visit to the Grand Canyon, “…and we’ll be out for Cinco de Mayo as well” she added.

Erm excuse me?

I’ll be honest I’m still hazy on the details of what the day was and why we would be going out to celebrate it. You are big grown ups, you can Google that for yourselves.

All I knew was that whatever this was, it involved a night out and I am all on board for that.

My Cinco de Mayo experience can be summed up in a few bullet points:

• Cinco de Mayo is basically like a Bank Holiday Sunday. People don’t really know why they’re out, you just are out.
• I discovered that American shots are much bigger than UK measures – there was a close call with a shot of tequila

•           Watching aghast as two very drunk College girls ‘danced’ in short toweling beach dresses and probably didn’t stay in their own beds

•           A couple consisting of a very old man and a very young girl. He licked her shoes. I’ll leave it at that.

•           American Girl threw most of a drink all over a table in a diner.

•           And the night ended in an empty strip club with me getting a lap dance.

(There are no photos of that.)

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Of planes and baseball - America 2014; Part 1

I've got to tell you. You need to brace yourselves for quite a few posts about America. I mean I could try and condense into one or two.....but I'm not going to.

Consider yourselves forewarned.

Let us start at the beginning.

As I mentioned in my last post, the turnaround from engagement to wedding was kind of fast. Knowing me and the kind of person that I am you may think that I would have been all over the planning of it.

I was not.

It just seemed to creep up on me and became on of those things that you say to yourself "Oh that's after Christmas, I'll think about it then" - and then suddenly it's mid-February and you realise that you're going away in a few weeks and nothing is organised.

We had a vague idea of what we'd do when out in Arizona. We didn't want to be too under feet whilst American Boy and American Girl were in the lead up to the wedding and still at work and we wanted to take the opportunity to do a bit of road tripping when out there. Cue lots of list-making and looking things up on Google Maps and looking for accommodation and getting tips from anyone we could ask.about where to go.

One piece of advice I was offered was from someone who recommended that we upgrade our seats from Economy to Premium Economy for the flight. We were taking the direct flight from London Heathrow to Phoenix Sky Harbor which is over a 10 hour flight. So not a short flight. I listened to my friends and I thought "Nah. We'll be fine." - basically I'm a cheapskate.

The worst thing about being in economy is that they make you walk past the Business Class seats in a Bullseye "This is what you could have won" style. As I gave everyone richer than me deathstares I realised that there was a nagging noise in my ear. What was it? Oh it was the sound of a child. Screaming.

This child then went on to scream for what definitely felt like the next 10 hours.

It must have been awful for the parents. Terrible. There they were with a baby (who was actually silent) and a toddler on a 10 hour flight. No mean feat. But my god I wanted to hurt somebody. Shut. the child. up.

We ended up in the middle of the middle of the plane. The person next to me fell asleep as soon as we took off and stayed that way for the night 9 hours, the guy next to The Person did not move for the whole flight either (he didn't wee, how is that possible?!) so we weren't massively comfortable. About 5 hours in I eventually found a position that didn't cut off the circulation to one of my limbs and determined to stay in that position. When I then tried to stand up I realised one hip was about 5cm higher than the other.

By the end of the flight I didn't know whether to cry or cry. The Person had managed to get some sleep, I got nada.

(The child was still screaming when we went through immigration. I hoped they might not let them in to the country but sadly it wasn't to be.)

Anyway.

You know what you do when you go to Phoenix in March? You go to Spring Training baby.

Spring Training took me a while to get a hang of but basically a load of baseball teams from up where it is cold have parks that they have built in places where it is hot so they can come and do some practice! So the Chicago Cubs leave behind the freezingness and the snow and the horrible weather and come to the boiling hot Phoenix. I'll be honest, I'd rather practice in the snow than in 30 degree heat but I'm just crazy like that.

So you can be dedicated and go and sit in the boring stands or you can take a blanket, sit on the grass and get drunk and not really watch the baseball.

The other thing you do is eat a hot dog.

Here we experienced American hospitality at its best. When we went up to order our hot dogs they were just in the process of making some more. The guy who served us apologised about three times in the space of about 3 minutes that the hot dogs were not ready immediately.

I wanted to take him home with me. It's hard to imagine the same happening if you went up to order a Pukka Pie at the Emirates...

From the baseball it was on to drinking and then a little bit more drinking. More sitting in the sun and talking. A slightly anti-semitic moment in a bar. (Don't ask, I can't even go there.) Before ending the day on this rooftop, American Girl and I talking whilst American Boy and The Person ended up inexplicably inebriated, gesticulating wildly, silhouetted against the setting sun.

I decided a screaming child on a 10 hour flight was probably worth it.

(But you bet your backside we upgraded to Premium Economy seats for the way back.)

On watching your best friend getting married...

You may have missed this because it kind of happened in the midst of my massive blog hiatus last year but America Girl and American Boy totally got engaged last summer.

They were going to be over in England for American Boy to attend a conference in Manchester and we said that we'd go for a little break in Corfu whilst they were over. We'd talked about a trip for our 30th birthdays anyway and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for us to get away and for them to tick another European country off their list - I actually think they're beating me in the number of places that they've been in Europe you know.

All was planned and in place and so I nearly died when American Boy e-mailed me saying that he was planning on proposing to American Girl - he needed to know some logistics about what we were doing when so he could plan his proposal.

My reaction was two-fold - so much excitement that I nearly vomited and absolute horror that I was going to have to keep this a secret for months. 

I coped with the latter emotion by telling as many people as feasibly possible that did not know either of them.

I'll never be a spy. No good at keeping secrets.

Their engagement story is not mine to tell but it was unique and personal and beautiful, even with a dead pigeon involved.

They got engaged the day before we flew to Corfu and the week we spent there was spattered with conversations about when the wedding might take place, who might be invited, where it would be, what it would look like etc etc.

Picture has no relevance - it's just to make you jealous.

I felt simultaneously incredibly excited but also just a tiny bit sad. No, not for the reason that you think, but for the simple reason that this was my best friend getting married and, thanks to that stupid Atlantic Ocean and the fact that she lives on the wrong side* of the United States - I wouldn't be able to really help out that much with the planning of the wedding. Not the dress trying on or the table plans or, you know, just any of the stuff that you get to talk about when one of your most favourite people is about to walk down the aisle.

Thanks to the wonders of Skype, Pinterest and Facebook messaging I got to see how things progressed - and progress they did quickly. I'm used to 1-2 year engagements so I nearly fell off my chair when I found out that the wedding would be taking place about 9 months after we all returned from our Corfu holiday.

It was never a doubt in my mind what I would go. When I told people we knew when the wedding was they asked me "Oh, are you going?" and I would look at them as if they were slightly insane. There wouldn't have been anything on this planet that would have stopped me going.

I felt sad that I didn't get to take part in the Bridal Shower or Bachelorette party. Mostly because it meant I wouldn't get to do something that's on my list of Things I've Seen Time and Time Again in American TV and Movies. Did you know that a Bridal Shower and a Bachelorette Party are two different things? Not just a hen do? Anyway, much as I would have loved to have been a part - two trips to the US in a month was off the cards for me.

When we arrived in Phoenix I was overly keen to get involved in anything that might be 'helpful' to the wedding, but those guys were well planned, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find anything to do to be useful. Up until the day before the wedding when I got to be super helpful and help make the flowers for the table centrepieces. Under the guidance of a professional I sat under the shade of their patio and tried to uncover my inner florist - sticking greenery and succulents into oasis until they eventually resembled something that looked pretty damn good.

I did ok at the wedding. For me. There was a point where I cried every time I looked at American Girl but I eventually got a hold of myself.

I would have done anything to have been more involved in their wedding day but nothing can compare to being able to be there when they did get married. Sat on the little white chairs on the grass, towards the end of a beautiful day, I couldn't believe that I was actually there, watching them get married. 

Sometimes it absolutely smacks you in the face how quickly life goes past. Oh I know we sit there and go "How is it April already?!" but I never really take in the actual speed of it.

How was it possible that it was eight and a half years that I went back to Manchester to do my MSc and met these two guys who were currently standing on the altar in front of me? Eight and a half years? It can't be possible. (In fact it can't be possible so much that I have spent about 20 minutes counting on fingers and paper and checking with The Person that it was in fact September 2005 that I went back to Manchester.)

It was something that I knew was going to happen and I knew I would watch one day. I knew these guys would get married, but here it actually was. Here is the actual day and I'm sat right here remembering. Remembering the year that we lived together in Manchester. Remembering that very first e-mail that I sent to American Girl once she was back in the US and I was living temporarily in Salford. Remembering all the e-mails and Facebook messages that have taken place since then. Remembering my trip over to the States in 2008 to see them. Remembering the time they came over the UK and it snowed and it snowed and it snowed. Remembering all the Skype calls. Remembering Corfu. And realising that now I get to remember their wedding day.

I could sit and be sad that I live in the stupid UK and she lives in the stupid US. I could sit and rage against the fact that there are no islands in the Atlantic Ocean that mean we could meet in the middle more often. I could sit and be sad that I couldn't be more involved in their wedding day. 

Or.

I could be overwhelmingly happy with all the things that I have got to experience. I could be overwhelmingly happy that I happened to have lucked out when I applied to stay in Halls and was thrown in with those two. I could be overwhelmingly happy that we have managed to keep a damn good friendship going for eight and a half years when we don't live anywhere near each other. Overwhelmingly happy that I have just got to witness my best friend getting married. 

There isn't anything that can beat that. 

Uncharacteristic cheese from me. Source from here

Except the discovery of an island in the middle of the Atlantic...just saying...

*The 'right' side of the United States would be somewhere like New York i.e as close to the UK as you can get. Not over in Arizona which is most definitely the wrong side.

A tentative return post

I should begin with the stock phrase that all rubbish bloggers like me trot out after an absence of posting...

"I'm sorry I haven't blogged for ages, but....."

Well I'm sorry I haven't blogged for ages but at least I left you with a brilliant post on the front page - gerbils eating pancakes anyone?

And I'm sorry I haven't blogged for ages but I did get really busy because I kind of went on the trip of a lifetime to the US to see American Girl and American Boy get married.

And I'm sorry I haven't blogged for ages but then work did a work explosion right in my face as soon as I got back and I couldn't even think about blogging.

And I'm sorry I haven't blogged for ages but then it was my birthday on Friday and I was too busy...just...having a birthday.

And then I thought that I really should blog again but not knowing where to start meant that I was a little bit paralysed.

So I thought I'd write a test post.

And you see, I'm so out of practice that instead of putting "write" in that last sentence I put "right". Jeeeeez.

I thought I test post might help me get back into the swing of things. That and a list.

And now I can't even remember how to finish a blog post.

(Picture of a gerbil?)

2013 Not Really Resolutions - The Conclusion

I very nearly didn't do this post.

My absolute shame at my performance in 2013 is overwhelming.

It is not going to be one of those "Oh look at me and how great I am".

This is going to be one of those "Well I don't call them Resolutions anyway so it doesn't matter that I basically didn't do any of them."

Prepare yourself for some class A excuses...

1. Get behind the wheel of a car again - Completed! This resolution was invaluable as it has meant that when I have had access to a car I've been able to get out and about, something which is impossible to do when living in the middle of nowhere. I've been able to hire cars to make long journeys rather than depend on the UK's expensive and unreliable rail service (and it does pain me to say that, having been a rail traveller for so long). There is definitely a post I want to write about being a first time driver on the roads - it was a bit of a baptism of fire for me. My first drive on a motorway was a 3.5 hour stint down the M5 to Tavistock which was all kinds of intense. But I'm pleased I've got this one under my belt - you can read about my refresher lessons and my experiences driving my sister's Tank.

2. Project 365 - Failed. I don't really know what happened here because it was actually going pretty well but then I just....stopped. I think I got busy with the impending move in the flat when The Person was moving here and just forgot to take photos. Plus I really didn't do anything and taking photos every day was a bit of a literal reminder of that. I'm amazing I made it through half of the year to be honest. Still, I did do Project 365 in 2011 so I'm not a complete failure (I tell myself).

3. Read 12 Classics - 9/12 - FAILED! I know! First year that I have ever ever failed this Not Really Resolution in all the years that I've been doing it. My downfall was finally picking up a Classic and a half in the shape of Vanity Fair. That is quite the tome you know. I have had a tendency sometimes to play it safe with my Classics and pick up slimmer volumes or easy volumes (for instance, one of my Classics this year was 101 Dalmatians...) so whilst I do feel sad that I didn't complete this one, I feel proud that I took on the challenge of Vanity Fair and conquered it.

1. North & South, Elizabeth Gaskell

2. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

3. Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger

4. The Pursuit of Love, Nancy Mitford

5. The Woman in White, Wilkie Collins

6. The Chrysalids, John Wyndham

7. The Edible Woman, Margaret Atwood (a review of which can be found HERE)

8. The One Hundred and One Dalmatians, Dodie Smith

9. Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray

4. Crochet an Elmer Blanket - Abandoned! You may remember that I abandoned this Not Really Resolution back in April as I decided I want to make a Tetris blanket. The Tetris Blanket is currently ongoing...

5. Learn to Knit - Failed! It just....never happened. Nothing more or less to it!

6. Bake once a month - Failed! It was just too hard, living in someone else's house for half the year isn't really conducive to taking over the kitchen randomly and I spent most of those weekends travelling to Preston to see The Person which meant I didn't have much time left for baking.

Jokes. I just bought cakes and ate them rather than making them.

7. Go abroad - Done! I went to Corfu with The Americans and The Person in July and it was amezzing and beautiful and I loved it and I didn't want to leave. It was made even better by the fact that the day before flying to Corfu, The Americans became Engaged Americans which made me giddy beyond belief.

That's what it looked like. Damn. Now I want to go back immediately.

8. Makeover a chest of drawers - Failed. HA. We moved into an unfurnished flat in August and let me tell you, furniture is expensive, even when shopping for cheap stuff. We still don't have a bed in the spare bedroom so we can have guests over, I am far from having the time, willingness and energy to makeover a piece of furniture I already own.

9. Cross stitch a big picture/item just for me - Failed. In the same way that 2012 was the Year of the Cross Stitch, 2013 was the Year of the Amigurumi and I have crocheted my fingers off. I have barely done any cross stitch at all.

10. Only buy 12 books throughout the year - HA! As if. In 2012 I managed to go a whole year without buying books so this should have been easy but it seems that with me, it's either all or nothing, and looking at the state of my to-be-read bookshelves I may need to implement a ban in 2014.

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So there we go. TWO out of TEN Not Really Resolutions completed.

You are totally allowed to sit back and feel pretty damn good about yourself right now.

Hey, at least 2014 is going to be better....right?!

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Take a look back at my past attempts...
Not Really Resolutions 2011
Not Really Resolutions 2012

Not Really Resolutions 2013: Q1 update

After last year's terrible performance when it came to updating everyone on my Not Really Resolutions (number of update posts in 2012 - none) I figured I should probably make more of an effort this year, if only to make sure I stay on track and actually try to get things done.

Seeing as we're nearly at the end of April with well over a quarter of the year gone *starts hyperventilating* I thought it seemed an appropriate time to update.

1. Get behind the wheel of a car again
I have an official license again! After pretty much over a year of procrastination I sent off for my license to be re-newed. After expecting a letter to come back saying "No you need to re-new it and replace it" or some such other nonsense, I was very surprised when after 3 weeks a brand new license flopped through the door with no questions asked.

So no more excuses - time to book some refresher lessons...

2. Project 365
This is ticking over quite nicely and has been much aided by the fact that I have a new phone which has a really good camera. I haven't even used my actual camera in goodness knows when, and because my phone is a Windows phone, everything is very handily backed up to my Skydrive, meaning that when I switch my computer on I just need to log in and download the photos and put them on Flickr. Easy peasy lemon squeezey.

I've been surprised that I've lasted this long because I'm living in the back end of nowhere with basically no friends, but I've managed. Ok, these photos are not going to set your world on fire, but guess what? My life wouldn't set your world on fire, rendering my Project 365 an accurate representation of my life.

The monthly round-ups are fun to do (see January, February and March) and the only thing I am bad at doing is actually uploading the photos to my photostream, which tends to easily be a week or two behind in time. Just like my blogging activities!

3. Read 12 Classics
It's been a good start to the year with my Classics and there hasn't been one I've read so far that I haven't really, genuinely enjoyed.

So far I've read;
North and South - Elizabeth Gaskill (probably the least easiest read out of the lot)

To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (can't believe I haven't read this before, I usually think children are made to read inappropriate Classics at school, therefore putting them off for life, but anyone who gets to read this at school I think is genuinely lucky. It was brilliant - not difficult and yet not condescending - it should be a must for all children to read this.)

Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (probably the only one that's made me raise an eyebrow and wonder if I've really understand what I've read and the one that's made me go "Really? This is a Classic?" but a good read nonetheless and one that I think would make a good Book Group read as there could be plenty of interpretations to be made.)

The Pursuit of Love - Nancy Mitford (hilarious. I have no other words. The only one so far that I insist you go out and read immediately.)

4. Crochet an Elmer Blanket
As you may have guessed, this has been put on hold now that I have the Tetris blanket firmly within my sights and underway. I do still want to crochet an Elmer Blanket but mostly I wanted to make a blanket just for me and the Tetris Blanket is definitely fulfilling that need at the moment.


5. Learn to knit
No progress on this one as of yet.


6. Bake once a month
This has been ticking along quietly (why do I always forget to blog about things?!) although I think it's safe to say that Mary Berry has nothing to fear at the moment. In fact I haven't been impressed with anything I've made so far this year. Here's hoping that April gives me my first triumph...

Gingerbread biscuits; The infamous Cookie Monster cupcakes; Chocolate & Peanut butter cookies 

7. Go abroad
Very exciting news on this one. American Girl and American Boy are coming over from the USA in July and seeing as they're here and seeing as we all turned 30 this year (with the exception of The Person who will be almost 31 by the time they get here. Ha. OLD.) we decided to take a little trip to another part of Europe and will be spending the first week of July in Corfu. In sunshine. Sun and The Americans? I don't think my brain can take the excitement.

8. Makeover a chest of drawers
No progress on this one yet.

9. Cross stitch a big picture just for me
No progress on this one yet either. I think my brain can only take one craft per year. 2012 was the Year of the Stitching and it's looking like 2013 might be the Year of the Crochet...


10. Only buy 12 books throughout the year.
HA. If I stick to this I will be shocked and amazed at my willpower. I will be able to do anything.

Unfortunately I think it's unlikely I'm going to stick to it. I am trying, I swear it, but after a year of not buying books, I have a lot of pent-up book buying going on in my system and I am finding it tricky to succumb, especially when in charity shops and faced with such cheapness. I am being very good and tracking what I buy though so I can't cheat and "forget" about a book that has made its way on to my shelves. The current total stands at 6 and we're not even at the end of the April.

And I'm not even counting the three books that I bought with a voucher for my birthday because that wasn't my money and those books don't count.

I love loopholes.

---------------------------------

So there we have it. Have just realised there isn't an awful lot on there that can be ticked off the list easily and that's a shame because there's nothing like crossing things off a list to make you feel like you're getting somewhere, but I shall keep on plugging away.

See you at the end of June for the Q2 update...

Things and Things and Things

I’m not a huge one for just generally bumming around the interweb and finding things. I’m often sent links by The Person which always force me to ask him what the hell he was doing on there that made him arrive at a video of a dog wearing boots.

 

I’m pretty standard, I come home, check e-mails, Facebook, Google Reader and that’s about it really. I don’t browse Etsy, I’m still not on Twitter (I don’t need anything else to distract me thank you very much), I don’t frequent cool online stores, I haven’t requested an invite to Pinterest.

 

I read link posts that people do and I often wonder how they find so many, how they see so much cool stuff, I’m clearly failing at the internet here.

 

But I thought I would show you some things that I’ve been clicking on this week (and I apologise that 2 of them are to do with cats).

 

Cat Scan - Cats + Scanning machines. For reals. And my Mum totally has a scanner – I’m thinking I know what I can do when I look after the cats next week...

And in other cat news - Larry the cat that was adopted by Number 10 Downing Street from Battersea Dogs & Cats Home to be a mouser, has been doing his job for one whole year today. Not only is that cool, but he also has his own photoset on Flickr where you can see him getting ready for his party. There is a photo of him at the top of the stairs that made me screech with laughter it looks so cool. Good work Larry!

Did I ever tell you one of the Stitchettes got married in November last year? Well she did and her wedding was so homemade (obvs) and awesome that it’s been featured on Rock N’ Roll Bride, the most awesomest wedding website ever.

You may remember that it’s one of my Not Really Resolutions this year to learn how to do French Knots. But I’m also feeling the need to expand my embroidery techniques generally and learn some new stuff. Enter the Feeling Stitchy blog which showcases all the coolest stitchery out there. They Stitchalongs every month and January’s was all about couching. This stuck in my head and I decided to give it a go for The Person’s Valentine’s Day Card this year – but I forgot to take a photo of it, sorry. But expect to see more couching in these here parts because it is a) fun and b) quite quick to do.

I’ve been merrily cross stitching away at my fairy castle but then managed to run out of thread. Mostly because I was too lazy to go out and get more. When I had to stop I had a mild panic attack at the realisation that I didn’t have anything crafty in my hands, but then Heather’s Elmer-inspired baby blanket popped into my head and ever since then I have been feverishly hooking up solid granny squares....I don’t even know why, I just can’t stop!

I wish I had longer hair. If I did I would do things like this to it.  (Incidentally this blog is awesomecakes and her hair tutorials are brilliant, in particular the half up fat twist and full up fat twist which is a way of getting super classy looking hair quickly.)

That American Girl knows me well. She sent me this for Valentine's Day - 14 Ways an Economist Says I Love You. These are pretty hardcore Economics things, I had to dig into the recesses of my brain to work out what half of them were originally based on.


 Right that's your lot, get off the internet, you'll use it all up!

Superbowl XLVI Stream of Consciousness

So last year I decided to stay up and watch the Superbowl. It's my way of being close to The Americans. (I miss them you know.) It was all kinds of funny, mainly because I had no idea what was going on and because by the end I was almost delirious with lack of sleep. I kept a running commentary on Blogger as I watching it to record my thoughts and it made me laugh. You can read these random thoughts here.

This year it snuck up on me, I didn't see it coming and didn't realise it was on until the day before. I would be all set to stay up again but I've been a sick person for the past couple of weeks (hi tonsillitis!) so I kind of need to sleep and not go into work on 4 hours sleep. But I thought I would just see how long I last this year and keep a note of my thoughts again.

So here we go.....

Pre-game

- Still don't really know who I'm supporting. I decided to go for the New York Giants because they're based in New Jersey and I like Jersey Shore. It's tenuous but it's all I've got.

- HOLD UP. I just saw a ridiculously fit bloke called Tom Brady. He plays for the New England Patriots, I might switch my allegiance. (Seriously, Google Tom Brady and look at the images. He's very all-American looking which isn't normally what I'd go for but I won't lie, I wouldn't say no.)

- Aaah apparently Rob Gronkowski suffered a high ankle sprain 2 weeks ago - remember Eddie the Ankle Egg? That was totally a high ankle sprain! Look at me with the same injury!

- Oooh Kelly Clarkson singing the National Anthem. She's looking good. Some of those kids singing behind her need a good slap though.

1st Quarter

- Ok the same thing happened last year - why are they wearing the same coloured pants?! I know that one team has blue shirts on and one team has white shirts on, but would it be too much to ask for both teams not to be wearing silver pants?!

- Seriously. I had a year to learn the rules of this game. Why didn't I do it?!

- Some of the players seem to have little white rags hanging out of the back of their pants. What the hell is that about?!

- Best thing about watching The Superbowl on the BBC is the way they have to keep jumping back to the studio every time there's an ad break in America. This time they went back to the game, there was the 1st down (see! I'm learning the terminology!) and then they came back to the studio - it took about 30 seconds.

- Should probably listen to what they're saying in the studio instead of writing blog posts...

2nd Quarter

- Aaah the white rags are for wiping their hands. Good thing, it would be a shame to get those silver pants dirty.

- I've found this website which I'm desperately trying to read to make sense of things. It's ok I guess but it's not helping massively to be honest.

- Good lord, Stephen Tyler quite literally looks like a woman. A woman who's had bad plastic surgery. I'm almost positive that is not the look he's going for.

- I think I have a winner when it comes to explaining terminology to me. For ages I've never understand this 3rd & 6 and 2nd & 9 etc etc. This page just explained it to me! Bonus. I'm on it now, I might just have more  of an understanding.

- Someone named their child Wes Welker. Seriously?!

- It has just occurred to me that although I might be all smug about understanding 'downs', I have absolutely no idea how they actually score points...

- "He's not a normal human being" - quote of the match. About this guy. Apparently because he moves too quickly for someone of his size - good point, he's almost 20 stone, he shouldn't be spritely.

- Brilliant. You know that American Football is made up of very large men when you see someone who looks like a complete midget and he turns out to be a kind of average 5'8".

Half-time!

-  Screw the football, it's all about Madonna. What an entrance!

- Holy feck she almost fell.

- Waaaaaaaah! LMFAO are on stage with her!! PartyRock!!

- Hell yeah, break out Like a Prayer. Hang on a minute though, when the hell did she put that long coat on?

- Awesome. What a show. Proper dicked on the poor effort made by the Black Eyed Peas last year.

3rd Quarter

- Oh sweet jesus. That break was so long I'd kind of forgotten that there was a game even going on.

- Touchdown for the Patriots! I now know that you get 6 points for a touchdown. At this rate, it'll only take me another 14 years to learn all the rules.

- I'm officially flagging. But it is 1.40am so I'm not going to be too hard on myself.

- Good lord. They're talking about play cards. This might be the most hugely tactical game I've ever seen. It appears it isn't just about big men throwing themselves at each other. It's massively complicated. Major respect for these guys.

4th Quarter

- Ooh I fell asleep for a bit and now there's only 2 points in it. No idea what happened but I'm sure I should be excited.

.......

And then I missed the rest. I went off to the land of nod and missed the rest of the final quarter - "You couldn't stay awake for 15 minutes?" I hear you say. True, but 15 minutes of play in The Superbowl takes about 45 minutes to play out.

I woke up briefly to see ticker tape flying about everywhere before nodding back off again. Too bad because it means I missed the Giants turnaround.

I might not have managed to stay up and watch the whole thing but this year was the year that I think I finally began to 'get' Superbowl. I'm beginning to understand the rules, I have absolutely bucketloads more respect for the game than I did and next year, next year, I swear to God I will have figured it all out.

Probably.

Not Really Resolutions 2012

So here we go. Not Really Resolutions 2012. Eek.

I think last year went pretty well. 9 out of 10 is a success in my book anyway, certainly as close to perfection as I’ll ever get.

So what’s on the list for this year? And more importantly, why?

1. Complete France 2010 trip album. Ha. Well it has to be on here doesn’t it really, given that it’s the only thing I didn’t complete last year. Shame on me. But this way it will definitely get done so it’s time for me to get my head down!

2. Furniture make-over. I have 2 items of charity shop furniture that need a make-over. One is a drop-leaf table and the other is this scabby looking chest of drawers that I picked up for £5 a few days after Christmas. They are very good at their jobs, but they’re not exactly pretty. I even know what I want to do with them, after getting inspiration from Tete en l’air last year, so it’s just a case of getting on with it. Think it might have to wait for more clement weather though!

3. Run 10km. A tricky one to put on the list as I’m still not overly sure if I am able to run 10km without my shin imploding. But if I don’t put it on the list I won’t push myself to try and achieve it so it’s going on here. I need something to aim for because once I’d run the 5km last year I stopped having the impetus to go running and as a result I’ve become a reet lazy so and so and I’m piling on the pounds as a result.

But I’m not going to beat myself up if I don’t achieve this one because it’ll be because I physically can’t do it. Note that I’ve just said run 10km, not enter in a race, I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself because then I’ll end up in pain – if I manage to run 10km, whether that be on a treadmill or running up and down my street a million times, I’ll count it as a win.

4. No buying of physical books for one whole year. Yeah you read right. I’m going hardcore for 2012. There is good reason for this. Namely that I do not need any more books. There are currently 92 books waiting to be read on my bookshelves. I read about 45 books this year, and 44 the year before that. Do the maths. Also I just don’t have the space to be buying books.

Which brings me to why it says no physical book buying. I decided this would be my resolution a couple of months ago and was all settled until Christmas Day when I opened up my present from my Dad and discovered I am the proud owner of a Kindle. I’ve had mixed feelings about these for some time now but I was mostly pleased because I saw a loophole in my resolution. I can’t buy any physical books but I’m allowing myself to buy books for my Kindle. I mean otherwise it would just be a waste wouldn’t it?

This one is going to be a tough one because I have a bit of a compulsion with book buying, as evidenced by the problem in the first place.

5. Learn how to do French knots and use them in an embroidered piece. These guys are the bane of my life. I literally cannot do them. Many have tried to teach me and many have wanted to poke me in the eye with the needle due to my complete inability to do it. But this year I am determined. If anyone has any links to any tutorials or videos that are good please tell me about them! I think French knots are going to be to 2012 what learning to crochet a ripple blanket was to 2011.

6. Use my alpaca wool. American Girl went all the way to South America to get me this wool (there’s a chance she also went for a holiday but we all know it was about me) and all I’ve done with it is turn from skeins into very neat balls of wool. This is bad behaviour. The main reason I haven’t used it is because I’m a giant scaredy cat because it’s not Stylecraft DK so I don’t know what to do with it. It is thin thinny thin thin and it frightens me. Any suggestions for what I can do with it (keep it clean please) then let me know!

7. Sell something at a craft fair. This requires me to be organised and get a stockpile together. Of what I have no idea but I like the thought of making money. Remember the mobile that I made for my niece? Since that one I’ve made 4 more for friends and it’s earned me some lovely cash. Now obviously I can’t make those – not unless I develop psychic powers and learn the names of my potential shoppers beforehand – but I’ve been bitten by greed and want to make pocket money for myself. I can feel a Gantt chart coming on...

8. Read 12 Classics. I had such a good time last year that I definitely want to carry this on this year. Mostly because of the stockpile I have – remember those 92 books? Yeah well 17 of them are Classics that I bought on speculation. And I can download Classics for free on my Kindle so no excuses.

9. Cook/bake something new every 3 weeks. When I was doing Weightwatchers in 2010/2011 I really started to enjoy being in the kitchen much more as I was always making myself new things. Since reaching my goal weight in February 2010 I’ve been lazy and that, plus the lack of exercise (see Resolution 3) has meant that slowly but ever so surely the weight is creeping back on. It’s not a big deal, I’ve just fallen into some bad habits, but I know what I need to do to change them so there’s no stressing to be done. But I thought this might help give me a kick up the bum.

Why 3 weeks? Well I knew that if I said fortnightly I’d never keep it up and if I said monthly well that’s just a big fat cop out isn’t it really? So every 3 weeks it is. God knows how I’ll keep track of this one.

10. Keep a diary with photos for one whole year. I loved doing Project 365 last year because it allowed me to look back over a year in my life and remember all the little things that happened. However it was a little limiting because I try to be as private as possible on the blog and not have other people’s faces in my photos etc. So I have decided that I will keep an actual physical diary for a year that will include photos. I’m not pressuring myself to write something every single day or take a photo every single day but I do want to keep a record of the little things that happen day to day. I even bought myself a cool book from Paperchase to do it in. Anything to oblige my stationary addiction.

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So there we have it. I am locked in. Bring it on 2012.

It's actually kind of scary. I think I might start thinking of valid reasons why I haven't completed these now, just in case...

The Yarn Fairy doth cometh

Oh my goodness that yarn fairy got well mad at me the other day. She said to me “It’s all good and well telling people about the yarn that you got for your birthday but you kind of forgot about the other yarn I got for you.”

I was muchly embarrassed because she is of course correct.

She did get me yarn a while ago and I did forget to tell people about it.

Sorry yarn fairy.

So yeah as you might remember I was telling you that the yarn fairy takes many forms. In the fair month of March (I know I know I should have mentioned this before now) I received a package in the post from the far off isle of America and inside this package was all manner of excitement from my good friend Miss American Girl.

Taking centre stage of all this excitement was a gift from the yarn fairy. It just so happens that when American Girl and American Boy took a new year trip to South America, they bumped into the yarn fairy in Argentina of all places and she asked them if they’d send some special wool to me.

You know what they have in Argentina? Motherfreaking alpacas. And the yarn fairy had selected some special skeins of alpaca wool to be sent to me as soon as conveniently possible.

They were special for a couple of reasons – 1. They were from far away and 2. They were my first ever skeins of wool. Normally the wool I buy is some little acrylic number that’s been nicely wound and packaged up for me in a lovely factory somewhere and it has a label on it that tells me what it is. This was just a huge pile of soft squishy yarn.

I had no idea how you go about making a skein into a ball. I left it in a bag for a while in the hope that it would figure itself out but for some reason it just lay there being all....skeiny. Eventually, with some advice from Mooncalf, and the aid of two dining room chairs, I figured out how you wind yarn. Turns out that yarn fairy wanted me to work for my special yarn package. Winding wool is really hard when you’ve never done it before. The first skein took hours (yes really) and involved multiple temper tantrums and hissy fits and at least one unconquerable knot.

However as time got on I got to be a bit more of an expert at it and I soon had my time knocked down (but it wasn’t exactly quick, I must be missing a trick somewhere) and could do a ball without having a nervous breakdown, although it should be noted that you can develop a bit of a bad back standing over two chairs and winding up.

The pay off was more than splendiferous though and I now have some lovely jubbly alpaca wool just begging to be made into something. The only thing is...I have no idea what to do with it. It’s much thinner than anything I’ve worked with before. I’ve been a double knit baby up until now but a quick trip to my local yarn shop to compare with some of their balls has revealed to me that this yarn is like a 3ply. A.k.a. super fine.

I don’t think a blanket would really be suitable and anyway did I or did I not say that I wanted to branch out with my crocheting this year? (I did, for the record) So I’m currently looking for a project suitable for my alpaca wool – I’m thinking maybe a shawl of some description? Anyone got any thoughts?

So apologies yarn fairy for forgetting to tell people about my special Argentinian wool. Do you forgive me?

Project 365: A look back at February

And whoosh. Another month has flown past. I would like to personally thank Lady Time for letting the sands through her fingers so liberally. Not.

I’m definitely starting to feel the burn of Project 365 now. The novelty has worn off and I’ve photographed pretty much all I can do on my walk to work and back each day. In fact a disturbing number of my photographs are taken when I’m at work – every time my boss leaves the office, I’m rummaging around for my camera and setting something up to photograph.

I haven’t taken any photographs this month that I’m particularly proud of. I wanted to write this post and thought I couldn’t really call it a round-up of my favourite photographs – more of a round-up of my favourite moments of February 2011 as represented by my Project 365 photos. 

(Why have a snappy title when you can have a convoluted one I say)

01/02 - How very convenient. The 1st February happened to be the day I reached my goal weight. Hurrah. Definitely a moment to remember. (I bragged about it here) I should say that since then I have paralysed with fear about going back to weigh-in. I am now a Gold Member and weigh-in is free for me as long as I am within 5lbs of my goal weight. Now I’m in somewhat of a dilemma, I’m sure I will have put weight back on (I don’t own scales so can’t say for sure) but I’m still happy as I am, part of me is very reluctant to go back to be told to lose weight, just because of an arbitrary number I plucked out of thin air when I first joined up. Hmm...not sure how I feel about it all to be honest.

03/02 - I snapped this on the way to the gym after work (ps how much lighter is it now already?! Hurrah!) because I thought that Hull City Hall, as seen across Victoria Square looked so beautiful. I might be alone in this one because the poor little photo hardly got any views on Flickr. Poor Hull.

12/02 – This month I made my very first cushion cover. It’s been exciting. And I haven’t even done a blog post yet about finishing it. Shame on me. But when I finished this side of it one weekend I felt immensely proud of it.

17/02 - I’ve got a lot of love for these when I included them in my February Photo Scavenger Hunt post and it made me very pleased. I absolutely love these shoes and have done from the very first day that I spotted a whole shelf full of them reduced to £3 in Primark 3 or 4 years ago. The sad truth is that I bought them and then didn’t dare wear them in public (although they did get an outing to Vegas when I went to see American Girl and Boy in 2008 – if you can’t wear those shoes in Vegas you seriously can’t wear them anywhere). I have decided that I need to get my fancy shoes out more though, I have a few of them but never ever wear them because quite truthfully a lot of them cripple me so can’t really be worn on nights out. So I have decided that at Stitch & Bitch on a Thursday I’m going to give them all their turn in public – it’s only up the road, I can totter there and back no problems. Expect lots more shoe photos to come in the following months...

20/02 - Somehow I’ve managed to get to the age of 27 and never travel in First Class. However, when I was booking my tickets to come home from Preston after a weekend of interview and Manchestering I discovered that by some quirk of fate a first class ticket was the same as a standard ticket (no I have no idea why either). I won’t lie, it was bliss, I am not looking forward to having to slum it in standard from now on. Lots more room, including bigger arm rests so you don’t have to get into an elbow war with a complete stranger and no having to listen to some chav’s music blaring out of his earphones. And on the train from Preston to Manchester there were free biscuits on offer. That’s right folks. Free biscuits. (There was nothing from Manchester to Hull because it was 6pm and there’s no trolley service on then. Booooooooo.) Small things please me people, what can I say.

23/02 - I don’t know about anywhere else but last week was freakin’ miserable weather-wise. If it wasn’t raining the sky was just grey and heavy and leaden. I think the sun broke through once on Thursday and I had to be restrained from cracking open the sun lotion. When I woke up on 23rd to yet more dismal stuff I decided to cheer myself up by putting on a summer dress. Another Primark bargain from a few years ago, it hasn’t been worn in a while (due to a) no decent summer weather and b) being too fat to button it up) and I had a burst of inspiration and put my black jumper over the top of it so I didn’t freeze. This might not sound like a burst of inspiration to you but I have little imagination, especially when it comes to wardrobe matters, so this was a major breakthrough for me. And you know what? It totally kept me happy all day. Win.

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If you want to check in on my Project 365 photos then click here or on the link on my sidebar.

Random Superbowl thoughts

So I decided for no reason whatsoever that I would stay up to watch Superbowl XLV which saw the Green Bay Packers take on the Pittsburgh Steelers. Please be clear - I know nothing about American Football. I tried to watch it once, the year that I lived with American Girl and Boy in Manchester and  American Boy tried valiantly to explain the game to me but I refused to listen (I was most likely drunk and/or tired). Oh how I wish I had, this game is nuts.


What follows are the random thoughts that I decided to write down as I watched the game to a) document this hilarious night, b) keep me awake. These were in no way meant to be coherent.

...Man those Quarterbacks really are a huge deal. Their names are pretty much the only individual names you hear...

...It's hard to actually figure out what's going on when you're not paying proper attention and writing blog posts that  don't make any sense. Bad spectator...

...Some of these guys are seriously just fat...

...They don't appear to catch the ball anywhere near as often as they miss it - it seems to be more about just hoiking it down the field...

...The Coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers is some kind of boy-child...

...The drop goals (or whatever they're called in this game - see I'm not concentrating!) are amazing. They have to kick those balls in a straight line through a goal while very angry men run right at your face...

...Field goal! They're called field goals!...

...Loving the Black Eyed Peas. Let's get my energy levels up by having a little dance....

...Actually. Black Eyed Peas are a little uncomfortable to listen to live. This is what happens when your voices get manipulated too much in a studio...

...OMG Slash is on stage playing guitar. Why doesn't this happen in the FA Cup final...

...Woah...and Usher. Man I need to start going to those street dance classes at the gym, I could totally look that cool. No really I could...

..They keep saying numbers that mean nothing to me, what does 2nd and 15 mean?! Why do I never listen when people are trying to tell me things?!...

...Oh my goodness a player just ran full tilt into a camera-man. I'm a terrible person, I nearly choked laughing at it. I believe the world is split into two kinds of people, those who laugh when people fall over/get knocked over/trip etc and those who are kind and goodhearted...

...I must be getting tired. I just took the following photograph to post on American Girl's wall to show her that I was watching the game over here...

...I can sense that this is getting to be a tense game. It's 17 - 21 to Green Bay but Pittsburgh are coming up from behind (so to speak). I feel like I should be excited and I am but I don't really know why...

...Oooh does 1st down refer to the 1st man tackled to the ground? Could I be learning something?!...

...No I don't think I am. I thought that sounded too similar to Rugby League...

...No. Wait. I just asked the internet and I think it really is similar to rugby league...

...Hahaha there's a man on the sidelines called Dick LeBeau. How can you not laugh at that? No? Really? Well it's funny at 2.06am let me tell you...

...Haha penalty for "unnecessary roughness". Bless their little cotton socks...

...Life would be much easier if both teams weren't wearing yellow pants...

...Aaaah I see. You just have to be standing in the touchdown zone and be passed the ball for it count as a touchdown. Veeeeeeeery interesting...

...Oooh this IS exciting, the score just went from 17-28 to 25-28 in the blink of an eye. And we're in the last quarter. I feel I'm witnessing a good game here...

...Hurray!! Green Bay has won, I was unofficially supporting them. I am pleased although I am a) incredibly tired because it's now 3.10am and b) grossed out by the Gatorade Shower they gave the Green Bay coach. A whole massive barrel of juice? Sticky.

...Staying up for the trophy presentation - hang on...the Quarterback for Green Bay won MVP (Most Valued Player - I guess the equivalent of Man of the Match) and he doesn't just get the honour of being named MVP. Oh no no no. He's just won a car. Yes you read right. A shiny, red, sports car. Officially bizarre...

...3.31am. Time to call it a night. Ha I'll be walking into work in 4 hours. Note to self: you have one year to learn the rules of American football.

A letter to American Girl

Dear American Girl.

So. I know that you went to Vegas this weekend with American Boy and a mutual friend. I’m not going to lie, I’m a little jealous. It’s not fair. It should be me getting to go over to Vegas and see you, not this other guy (man, he’s not even a good host!).

Anyway it’s made me think about when I was over in 2008 and we took a little road trip to Vegas for a few days.

I remember getting up at ridiculous o’clock in the morning, feeling very confused and still a little jet lagged to climb into the car and begin the journey. And we had a Wendys which was very exciting.

And we saw lots of cacti on the sides of the road and American Boy informed us that Arizona was the only place that particular type of cactus grows.

Road trip + important trivia = Amazingness.

It kind of took forever though. Why is America so big?

And we stopped off at the Hoover Dam. Which is kinda big. And I felt kind of gross just wandering around in tracky bottoms and a t-shirt borrowed from American Boy but then I realised that there were loads of weird tourists wearing similar things so I didn’t feel as bad.

And then we got to VEGAS (you always have to say it like it’s spelled in capitals) and we got to our hotel that was called the Tropicana and which made me sing Wham songs any time I thought about it. How quickly did that get annoying?

I wish I remembered everything that we did and on what day but it all merged into one really because VEGAS is a little mental. I think it screwed with my head a bit. I had no concept of day or night or anything in between because nothing. ever. stopped. It was so confusing.

Jet lag + Vegas = Hurting brain.

Do you remember going to our Stripper 101 class? And the ladies taught us to dance all sexy like? (Except when I did it it didn’t seem sexy so much as just plain awful.) And remember how the next day I nearly cried when I was getting changed because I couldn’t lift my arms above my head? Man that was a good workout.

Remember when we had sushi with Sherman? We were queuing up to eat at a half price sushi place and the waitress told us that we were unlikely to get in because guests of the hotel had priority and then Sherman appeared out of nowhere and said that we could eat with him. So we all sat at a table together and he freaked me out so much that I could barely speak and you were pretty sure he was a crazy axe murderer type. I do wonder what Sherman’s up to now.

Ha and how about when we went to Studio 54 inside the MGM (and while we’re on it, how about the real life lions in the freakin’ MGM?) and my head nearly fell off at the amazingness of it all? And we drank vodka and red bull until our livers nearly exploded and danced like crazy people (one of us kept showing off moves we’d learned in the Stripper 101 class if I remember correctly) and then dancing almost naked ladies appeared from the ceiling and did all kinds of acrobatics – remember that one that was like spinning round by her neck?! And then there were balloons and gold confetti falling from the sky and then you said we had to leave and I was like “WHY?! THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING NIGHT EVER!” and you pointed out that it was gone 3am (another example of being able to not tell what time it was, that place was still jumping man!) and then we went back to the Hotel Tropicana and we went to restaurant and we ate chips.

Was that the night that we got in and American Boy demanded that we order pizza and then passed out before they came? Or was that another night?

And then the next morning when we had to get up ridiculously early to go to the House of Blues to an all you can eat buffet with gospel singing? Yeah that was a poor life choice. I wanted to cry because the sight of all the food made me throw up at first (although I was pleased I pulled it together at the end and managed to eat the jambalaya. Man that was good jambalaya.) and then I didn’t feel much like praising the lord at 10am with a raging vodka and red bull hangover. And then we had that photo taken of us all and we look like absolute shit. I love that photo, I look at it all the time and it makes me laugh.

There were about a billion other things that happened, I haven’t even got around to mentioning the time when we saw the hookers being talked to by the police (and you taking a photo of it) and how I wanted to cry when we saw the fountains playing at the Bellagio because it was so amazing and I was so happy to be there.

Anyway I just wanted to say thank you again for taking me there. We need to go back one day you know. Then I might even work up the courage to actually gamble instead of messing about on the slots.

I miss you, you know, I think we need to work on bringing America and Britain closer together. And I mean physically. We’ve already got the ‘special relationship’ going on lady.

Love

The Girl

PS Are you crying yet?