Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Things NOT to say to someone who's just been told they've been made redundant...

...Now I am aware that the following list* will contain things that people are saying only in an attempt to express sympathy/empathy and try and make you feel better. But, hand on heart, saying the following things to me in the immediate hours and days after I've been told I'll be losing my job are only going to make me want to punch you in the face.

"Things happen for a reason."

I have always hated this saying because it is only ever trotted out when something truly horrible has happened. Why do people never say this when you hear great news? "I just passed my driving test" "Aaah yes, things happen for a reason." Why is it that people want to say this to you only when life has just taken a massive dump on you from above?

Saying this to me will make me want to respond with, "Yes they do happen for a reason. They happen because there's a recession on and there's no money and my boss doesn't think I'm worth keeping on. Now I feel so much better!"

"Everything will be OK"

Will it? WILL IT?! Actually, I'm sure it will be fine. And one day I will look back on this chapter in my life and say "Oh yes, at the time it was shit but look how lovely life is now." But right at this minute just after I've been told I've been made redundant I'm afraid I cannot comprehend how everything is going to be OK. Instead I am in a swirling vortex of emotion in which the rug has been pulled out from under my feet and I'm trying to simultaneously work out my statutory redundancy pay (which is wank by the way. One week's pay, capped at £430 for every year you've worked. I think I'll buy a Ferrari with my pay off.) and when I have to give notice on my flat and where I last saved my CV. Telling me everything will  be OK is just not helpful in the slightest and you know what? There's a chance that everything might not be OK. OK?!

"It's probably a blessing in disguise" "It's probably the push you needed to move on in your career."

I don't even feel I should need to explain this one and yet the sheer number of people I've had say this to me tells me that people clearly think it's an appropriate response to hearing that you've been made redundant.

I think the next person that says it to me I will push in front of a car and then tell them "This is probably a blessing in disguise, you've been saying you're really over-worked and now you have to spend 6 months in traction you'll have loads of time to relax."

No-one wants to be pushed out of their job whether it's good for their career or not. Think before you speak.

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Things that are good to say to someone who's just been told that they've been made redundant?

Any variation on "I'm really sorry", "This is massively shit", "I really hope you find something else soon" etc etc are all acceptable and will result in you not being put on my list of Stupid People I Know.


*This list is not exhaustive and should also include the many variations of the few things listed above. My favourite was "You need to have the rain to have the rainbow" which thank goodness was received over text or I may not have been held responsible for my actions.

18 comments:

  1. That's bloody awful! Really sorry to hear this. :/

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  2. That is massively shit and I am so sorry to hear!!

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  3. Oh, shit. I'm so sorry. I was hoping you'd be ok.
    All l can say is sorry.
    Is that ok? I don't want to be put on the stupid people list.

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  4. I really am really sorry. They're muppets, the economy is pants, and I really hope you find something soon. I don't know how it can help, but in case, I do know someone who's moving to Hull soon.

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  5. You know what - that's a really shitty thing to happen and I'm proud you didn't kick your boss in the shins.

    I give you permission to get blind drunk and weep into your wine glass while gorging on your junk food of choice.

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  6. What a massive pile of wanky testicle bags.

    Hotmail me your address and I'll send you something that doesn't resemble steaming shite.

    xxx

    ps. you're not one of those vegetarians are you? (need to know on basis of potential 'Spanish' entry to parcel)

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  7. If I had got that rainbow comment - even by text - i think I would have gone round and punched the texter in the face anyway.

    Sorry to hear your news and sorry they've been dragging it out for so long. Fingers crossed for you that things get better soon.

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  8. Do you need me to come and verbally hurt someone for you?? Very Sorry for you. Get wine and get drunk and rant and throw pillows.

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  9. That just truly sux!! Jerks....I wish you the very best of luck in finding something that you'll love doing!!

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  10. Perhaps you could some how get your boss to wear a red head scarf and babushka doll can become useful as some sort of effigy? Some of the finer details need a little work, granted.
    Thinking of you x

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  11. Oh I just had a better idea. Along the same lines, but instead of limiting it just to your boss, you carry a red scarf around with you, and when someone makes one of the aforementioned comments or one much like it, kindly ask them to don the red head scarf before producing a pin and sticking it into babushka doll repeatedly, until rage has subsided. Take head scarf back, thank them for their kind and thoughful comments and skip merrily on your way.
    Twisted? Yes. Am I a little scared of myself for thinking up such a scheme, and not only that, giggle at the thought of it? A little.

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  12. I'm really sorry to hear that. What bstrds. I hope you find something else soon and in the meantime take good care of yourself x

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  13. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I feel the same way about dumb as comments like, maybe its for the best. People said the same crap after my wedding was canceled by a hurricane. I just wanted to smack them, and still do.

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  14. I got made redundant for the second time at the start of Feb {from a job I hated so not too bad} And i know you hate those clichés but they kind of came true after each one. I've started a great new job this time and did last time - both times it made me look a little more at what i liked doing and focus on those! And you never know, what with the move they might all be true for you too. They are shit to hear in the heat of the moment, but don't dismiss them! x

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  15. Oh that's awful, poor you! I, of course, don't know what to say except that, say what you want here and know that we will be listening, caring about anything you choose to say/do and what is happening to you!

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  16. And taking a shovel and digging my own grave... Ah well! Yeah it is what it is but on the plus side - Person living! ...? Whoop? :) xxx

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