I should be ecstatic really. I may no longer be living with my boyfriend but I am now living with a cat. As a Crazy Cat Lady this should be good news, but unfortunately it isn't.
For Blinky is a minion of the antichrist.
Don't believe me? Look at this face...
Blinky has always been a bit 'spiky' to say the least. I went round to my sister's house 10 years ago when they first got her. "Oh what a cute kitty!" I exclaimed and scooped her up. She immediately turned into a ball of furry fury, claws akimbo, wriggling to escape.
And no, thank you, it wasn't me being over zealous, she just quite simply hates all people.
She has literally never sat on someone's knee like a real life cat. She will deign to sit on the end of your bed but you are under no circumstances allowed to touch her - leading to a disturbed night's sleep as you attempt to relax without actually moving a muscle.
She has been known to purr but do not allow that to fool you into thinking she likes you.
She even looks cute sometimes and her kitteny face belies her aged status but this is just a ruse to get you to put your hand through the bannister where it will be cruelly shredded.
The only people she vaguely tolerates are my nephews and she only makes a vague effort with them because they feed her. And so she hangs around outside their rooms, chirruping to be fed.
Particular hatred is reserved for my sister, who Blinky regularly tries to trip down the stairs. And not in that cute, general winding round the legs that cats do, but in a very deliberate shove to the back of the ankle. It's most undeserved as my sister was the one that picked Blinky out of the litter to bring home - part of me wonders if that's the basis for the anger, my sister probably got in the way of Blinky's plans for world domination.
She recently did the same to me on the stairs. I'm unsure if it was a case of mistaken identity or if this is proof that she hates all women.
I refuse to give up and I have launched a campaign to make Blinky like me. I've taken over feeding her, in the hopes that she'll transfer her cupboard love to me, and this makes me a little bit ashamed of myself but a Crazy Cat Lady has needs...