Thursday, 7 November 2013

Things that go bump in the kitchen

I really don't like cooking you know. I've tried and I've tried and occasionally I can find myself enjoying it but mostly it feels like a chore, much like washing your hair. It's one of those things you've got to do but you don't ever really feel like doing it.

I wish that meant that I didn't like eating but unfortunately it's not the case. I sometimes wonder if, left to my own devices, I'd just sit and eat outrageous amounts of toast, salad and crisps.

Actually I don't wonder at all - I'm home alone tonight and have just eaten beans on toast. I felt proud of myself for grating cheese.

But I'm lucky really, The Person actually enjoys cooking. He loves sitting and sifting through cookery books, looking up recipes online, chopping things and throwing stuff in a pan, putting things in an oven and all manner of spatula-related kitchen wizardry.

And so I know I definitely shouldn't complain.


Have you ever attempted one of Jamie Oliver's 30 minute or 15 minute meals? If you haven't this is basically how it goes:
1) It takes about 3 times longer than it should do
2) You use every utensil and pan and piece of crockery you own
3) Your kitchen is destroyed by the end of it.

The trouble is, every expedition in to the kitchen for The Person ends this way. It's not specific to Jamie Oliver, it's the same for every single meal. Most of the time after eating a lovely meal and getting up to put my plate in the kitchen he stands up, takes the plate from me and goes, "Don't go in there." I know well enough not to - my poor heart won't be able to stand the strain.

Don't believe me? Look at this:

This is what happens after The Person makes two sandwiches.

That's all. Two. Sandwiches.

But I'm really not complaining.



  1. Alex is just the same, I have no idea how he can use so many utensils and plates and THINGS just to cook a steak, but he is great at it.


  2. Oh my gosh- this x 1,000! I don't know how he does it, but T can wreck the kitchen within minutes. It drives me up the wall, because I'm quite particular about tidiness. I feel churlish complaining- after all, it's lovely to have him in the same country at last, let alone in the same house AND cooking dinner for me - but grrrr.

  3. I'm a very messy baker and in general can go through about five different mugs in a day without washing any of them. I'm bad, and I know i'm bad and lazy, but yeah, when i'm baking there's things all over the place!

  4. This is why I need more of you in my life! This is exactly what T does, just another reason I do most of the cooking. Also, try living with a chef who after 10 years still hasn't worked out that he doesn't a. have a commercial kitchen full of kit to do this with and b. a commis chef to clear it all up after him!

  5. I'm with you, I always find the idea of cooking appealing but it's actually really stressful in practice, then I end up throwing things about and the kitchen looks much like that picture above!

  6. Ha! Tim is just the same. I tidy up as I cook, so that when I serve up the meal the only mess I leave for later is any hot pans. And if I get my way I tidy up around Tim when he cooks and then he tells me off for putting a spoon in the dishwasher when he was totally going to use that again. But usually I leave him to it and then later I'm greeted by a disaster area kitchen, with bits of veg drying into the chopping block because it wasn't cleaned right away. Argh!

    I did wonder if it was a boy thing but have observed it the other way round in some couples, with boy neat freaks and whirlwind girls. And I'm not even a neat freak in the rest of my life, but I like the kitchen and bathroom to be neat, tidy and clean at all times. Just don't ask to see my living room without my having a few hours beforehand to blitz it!

  7. Mr G is generally pretty good about cleaning utensils after he cooks but he is totally incapable of putting anything in the rubbish/recycling bins even though they are right next to him. That drives me c.r.a.z.y.

  8. Haha! Totally the same as Andy. I'm banished from the kitchen during cooking and stay away until he has tidied up - total devastation!

  9. I am definitely a messy cook too, luckily Mark helps to clear up afterwards!

    Maria xxx

  10. yay! You are back...must catch up on the reading!xxx


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