Monday, 13 February 2012

The big day

I can’t really avoid talking about it can I? It’s everywhere you turn at the moment – pink and red tones are assaulting my eyeballs with every blink and I’m wading through posts in Google Reader which are trying to show me tutorials about making biscuits or cake pops or cards or secret boxes to give to my Valentine.

I have found that the 14th February seems to bring out an often hidden side to people. Some reasonably normal friends suddenly turn into sop monsters, heading out to buy the latest CD of love songs and brandishing fluffy teddy bears in your face; other reasonably normal friends turn into snarling monsters, leaping down your throat at the mere mention of love and hearts and flowers.

It’s probably not too much of a stretch to realise that that the former are those people in relationships and the latter are those currently single.

Personally I’m not incredibly fussed about the day. I’m not bothered about going out for an over-priced meal, sitting with smug-marrieds and people with no sense of appropriate public displays of affection (by the way, there are no appropriate PDAs, keep it behind closed doors people). I don’t want a barbershop quartet sent to work. I’m pretty happy with a card, not one the size of my head, just your average card that says “Hi. I love you. And I have used this day to make extra special mention of that even though I tell you all the time anyway.”

I’ve done Valentine’s Day single before, and whilst it isn’t a barrel of laughs, it is actually much easier because there is no expectation from anyone else that you’re going to have an embarrassingly large bouquet of flowers turn up at reception at lunchtime. When you are with someone you start to view the question “Are you doing anything for Valentine’s Day?” with increasing hostility as you try to pitch your answer according to the person that’s asked it. Is this a lover or a hater? If they’re a lover are they going to judge you a little bit for not really doing anything? If they’re a hater are they equally going to judge you for not taking advantage of a romantic day (I point blank refuse to call it a holiday, a) it is not a holiday and b) I am not American) when it’s on offer?

Oh the stress.

Cast your mind back to last year. People asked me all day long what I was doing and what The Person had done for the special day. I was forced to admit that not only was I not doing anything (not surprising given that we live 3 hours away from each other) but I hadn’t received anything either. No my friends, last year, despite being with someone, I still received no token of appreciation from my love. One hideous temper tantrum discussion later and I think The Person has had this February marked on his calendar in capitals, highlighted, with stars around it.

When it came to a game of not expecting anything to expecting and not receiving, I know which side I’d rather be batting for.

So whether you’re a lover or a hater I hope you enjoy tomorrow – whether it be just another Tuesday or a day of over-the-top romance.

(And maybe say a little prayer for The Person that he hasn’t messed it up this year.)


  1. Hope you get a nice card :-) OH and I are going to see The Muppets film tomorrow - we both really want to see it (despite our advanced years) and it beats eating an over-priced 'Valentine's Meal' surrounded by other couples.

  2. You've encapsulated it perfectly here! It's strange how a day thats meant to be all abut the loving can be so fraught with tensions, misplaced expectations, and all round misery at times!!
    Hopefully yours will be awesome!
    I'm going to see J Edgar after work, which I'm looking forward to, and made my sweetie a homemade Doctor Who card!!Yeah its not long stemmed roses and a posh dinner, but its what I want, and thats what I think a perfect Valentines Day is- getting the balance of who you both are and what you both want and like.Good luck with yours

  3. Hey! No big one for me tomorrow except spending some time with my housemate and going to an art exhibition my friend is putting on.

    I'm getting excited about getting my students geared up though - they are all getting pet names and its going to be speeddating and Daniel Beddingfield all the way! ;0)

    I did have a date offer actually for tomorrow but I turned it down...another story for other places! Anyway hope The Person gets it right! :) xxx

  4. You know what, my OH is brilliant. He works all day, he comes home and does the shopping, the cooking, cleaning and washing. He gives me lifts and treats me to meals out whenever I am well enough. I don't need him to give me a piece of paper. He proves to me every single day that he loves me. It's hard to do that, much much harder than spending £2 on a card and £5 on a rose.

  5. I made my fiance's Valentine's card and bought him some Haribo foamy heart things plus I ordered a CD he wants but I'm not sure if it'll arrive tomorrow. I'm not usually a soppy moo but sometimes it just happens.

  6. I'm not really fussed about valentines. When I was partnered up it was just like any other day and now I'm not, it's just like any other day! I did enjoy watching old couples walking along the beach yesterday though - cuteness! x

  7. I want to know if he did good this year?

    It's true, when you start the day with no expectations, anything little thing can bring a grin.

  8. Good response! I have always liked it but felt a bit wistful in my single (many!) years! The last 2 years my boyfriend made me a beautiful card and bought me some flowers. We made a meal each time! This year, I received no card (we were in Paris), he hadn't got around to it! I apparently didn't act upset until yesterday when I snitched to his Mum whilst he was on the phone to her (he was really embarassed- good!) I was miffed as I had spent time making him a card despite lack of time! The evening was the first time I have tried to go out for dinner (in Reims) and it was a disaster as everything was fully booked so we ended up in a creperie with me nearly/virtually/yes in tears because he was being so grumpy about it! So wasn't great in some respects but in others good!Being away etc!


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