I've realised I'm not done yet.
I've always been pretty vocal about the fact that I'm not a career-driven person. I've always said that if I won the lottery I'd be outta there, I wouldn't stay in work, I'd sit on my arse all day. Or if I married a very wealthy man I'd become a lady what lunches.
However now that I am sat on my arse all day it turns out it's really not what I want.
I'm not done yet.
I fell into my job by accident but it turns out that I really enjoy it and there's still so much more that I want to do. I'm not eager to reach heady heights, I'm not looking to make a packet, but I definitely don't want to stop right now.
Unfortunately, when you're in my position there comes a point where you realise that though it would be lovely to have a job I really want to do, I also need to get some money into my bank account because the £240 I'm pulling in a month through JSA doesn't cover much.
So I'm applying for the jobs that I really want, alongside the jobs that I don't really want, but will pay some bills.
I would have said, in the past, I'd be happy to do any kind of job but actually I don't really want to. I've been applying for admin/receptionist roles and they are not what I want to do. I'm not saying I'm better than that but I'm not done and once I'm in a job that means less time for me to spend looking for my ideal job.
I think I'm just scared that if I get in an admin job, I'll get stuck there. I'll be comfortable, I'll be happy just plodding along and not using my brain to its full capacity and before I know it I'll be talking about this one time when I did research. And that thought scares the bejeebus out of me.
I'm. not. done. yet.