Monday, 15 August 2011

My secret love

After 28 years of being tall I’ve almost got used to it. I was looking through some baby photos the other day and came across one of me sat on my then 14 year old sister’s knee. But wait. I was sat on her lap, then my legs stretch halfway across the room and my head reached up to her shoulder. “My god” I commented, “I was a freakishly long child.”
Yes” Mum replied “I was difficult really because people thought you were much older than you were so actually thought you were a bit retarded because here they thought they were looking at a 3 year old, when instead they were looking an 18 month old.” Thanks Mum.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not massive at all. I’m 5’9” (maybe a shade above but definitely not 5’10”) which actually only makes me a couple of inches taller than the average for women, and about the same height as an average man. Apparently.

For a long time I was convinced that Hull was full of ridiculously short men, but I had a revelation a while back on a night out after cockling over and hurting my ankle. They’re not ridiculously short, I just have a predilection for 4 inch heels – I’m ridiculously tall! It took me a night out in flats to realise that actually, there were a lot of ‘normal’ sized men out there.
Unfortunately I’ve hit a stumbling block in the shape of The Person, who reckons he is 6 foot. I say reckons because he is clearly wrong. If he was 6 foot then I could wear more than an inch high heel and not be taller than him and I can’t. I’ve tried reasoning with him but he’s insistent that he’s 6 foot. Incorrect.

I know it’s shallow and I know it’s silly but I just cannot face being taller than my boyfriend. I just can’t. And it’s not him telling me I can’t be taller than him, he thinks I’m as crazy as you all do right now, he doesn’t get what the big deal is. I put two thumbs up to Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullum and all the other similar couples out there, but I cannot comprehend the thought of going out with my boyfriend and bending down to whisper in his ear. No. Sorry. No way.
With a shoe collection full of 3 inch heels and above I have slowly but surely begun to rectify matters, trying to re-programme my brain to not go for the 4 inch heel with 2 inch platform, but instead to go for the much more sensible 1.5 inch heel height. I am getting there, but the results are pretty grim.

Luckily for me there have been lots of cool sandals out there this summer, they can double as going out shoes at some point...can’t they? And I found a lovely little pair on sale in Dorothy Perkins the other day which hit the Holy Grail of being small enough that I’m not taller than The Person but also being appropriate for work. Tick!

I am trying to love them. I really am. But I know that my heart is reserved for pairs of shoes that send me up in to the stratosphere. They just look prettier. Plus we all know that the higher the heel, the better your leg looks – even more important when you have over-developed calf muscles like mine which could see me getting mistaken from the knees down for an England Scrum Half, out for the night in drag.

I will continue to try to expand my shoe collection full of pretty pumps and gorgeous flats, but I know, and you know, that nothing’s going to make my heart beat faster than shoes like these little guys. Or these guys or actually what about these guys...


L-R: Primark (£6 in sale), Dorothy Perkins (£15 in sale), Matalan (can't remember!)
Note to all: I am of course still in the market for big heels, there are plenty of times I’m out without The Person. However, with a limited budget, I need to try and find heels that I can get plenty of wear out of.

Extra note to all: Why yes, yes I do have freakishly long toes.


  1. Oh dear that;s so funny what your mum said!! My boyfriend is short for a guy and a bit taller than me, but he hates it when I wear heels - makes him feel inferior or something lol

  2. I am 5ft 3 on a good day. We may need to do some forced perspective for any photos we take.

  3. So many women and guys feel like this. My boyfriend is about 6 inches taller than me so if my going out shoes take me above him I know that I am going to have sore feet!! xx

  4. Ah bless all mums - they have a way of saying things that make you us feel *really* really good about ourselves. I offer up my mum's comment, "you used to look so nice, what happened?". Mr GiW is shorter than me and it's never bothered me (although I could never go out with someone younger than me, weird eh?). Kudos to you for being able to wear 4" heels. I wear flats all the time now, as heels hurt my back. The perils of being old.

  5. Aww, that's sad! I totally understand where you're coming from though. I love my tall shoes (I'm only 5'6", which wouldn't be too bad if I weren't surrounded by Very Tall People all the time. So I compensate with my footwear), but they're really impractical for cycling. So flats it is. Even though a pair of nice pumps would be preferable ;)

  6. Oh the joys of unintentionally insulting comments from mothers. Mine is a past master at it.

    I can't do anything but sympathise on this I'm afraid. I'm only 5'2 so unless I went out with a midget, it's just not going to be a problem for me. Shall I coo over the shoes instead? The Primark sandals are LOVELY!

  7. I'm 6 1 and long ago figured that if I was insistent on having a boyfriend taller than me that I was limiting the available pool too much. I've had one taller boyfriend and he was an absolute idiot. My lovely fella is 5 9 and fabulous with it. I've also figured that if a man is too intimidated by a taller girlfriend, he's not worth having in the first place.

  8. Freakishly long! Faberooni sandals though. I wish I could do heels, but with my "Halux Rigidus" (google it!) I end up in loadsa pain. Hubby is 6 foot 6inches and we do look at bit like little n large (I am only 5ft 2 - on a good day! xxx

  9. At 5'7" I don't have this issue with men usually but I do get lots of comments about being tall generally - really I'm not! My sister is 6' and pretty much always wears flats - she admits when she first met her now husband she used to walk in the road so he had the kerb advantage! He wasn't bothered at all, but she was. On the plus side my physio friends would say those killer heels are seriously bad for you (something to do with posture and shortened calves I think...) and those blue sandals are really nice!

  10. I've always been big like you (as in height). I cannot and will not go out with a guy shorter than I. Just doesn't work. My neck hurts just bending over to no. lol

    I am 5'8 3/4". I was once that I know of, and probably more that I didn't know of, called an Amazon. My ex heard someone call me that...and the jerk did nothing. He was standing next to a guy that was his superior inside a house and I was outside tending to the homeowner's pool and the 'house person' called me that. Whatever.... :o)

  11. I am a fairly midgetty 5'4" so I wasn't nodding my head and muttering yeah yeah yeah until you mentioned your calves.

    Calves are bothering me. I have always believed my calves to be quite normal and perfectly proportional to me very normal physique but in the last week I have failed to zip up two pairs of knee-high boots. In Clarks. Home of mum-shoes! I am horrified. And my pride is dented.


  12. I am 100% confident that I am in fact 6ft. This kind of public slander shall not stand. I shall take official measurements and have it confirmed.

  13. I'm 6ft and more than willing to offer my services and stand next to The Person for comparison purposes ;)

  14. (I love that The Person has set up an account just to defend his height honour!)

    This is a subject SO close to my heart!! Men lie about their height it's a fact. If they say they're 6' they're 5'10". If they say they're 5'10" they're 5'7". I'm 5'11" and I've turned up to more than one internet date (sigh) with a supposed six footer and they've looked up and me and said "Wow, you ARE tall aren't you?" I'm like, "Yeah... you're not!" So now I'll only look at the ones who say 6'1" or more as 6' seems to be the golden figure for the shorties. My ex actually rounded his height down to appear less freakish haha (6'5" - perfect height for me to wear heels and still be smaller).

    I must sound so shallow to any of the 5'4" girls reading this but honestly unless you've ever had to bend down to kiss your boyfriend I don't think you can understand. I had a four year relationship with someone 5'6" and felt such a big heifer all the time, never again! (Well, never say never but hopefully not!) x

  15. I feel your pain! I'm 5ft10 (no not 6 feet, as everyone somehow likes rounding up to!) and I will not date someone shorter than me in my highest heels - this may sound shallow to some, but came thru for me, my boyfriend is 6ft6, ideal! You're right though, there really aren't too many tall men around! :)


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