It's actually really difficult to fill in job applications and try and sell yourself when the very fact that you were made redundant means that you feel kind of worthless.
People will tell you over and over again that you shouldn't take being made redundant personally but it's incredibly hard not to as it is, after all, a form of rejection. I think it especially feels like that for me because I was the only person doing my job - it's not as if they were making a team smaller and someone got the spot instead of me, I was seen as just completely irrelevant and got rid of.
I find job applications difficult enough at the best of times because I'm not a crower and a bragger but they're even more difficult when you've been kicked in the teeth. There's a part of you that wants to go "Well if I worked for these people for 5 years and they couldn't see the point of me then how on earth can I make someone else see that I'm worth hiring?"
And that sucks.
It's human nature isn't it. Things that are such a huge part of our life affect us and finding yourself at home after 5 years on being on the treadmill is going to hurt! I hate job apps! My boyfriend felt the same when he just finished his PGCE, he just felt worthless and depressed having to do the forms, especially when quite a few came to nothing, he thought, why so much effort for this. Hope you are ok!
ReplyDelete