Wedding Fever

I wonder sometimes if there was a scale of ‘Britishness’ where I would factor on it.

I like nothing more than a good cup of tea and I am excellent at queuing. I can get completely outraged yet still will not actually make my feelings of displeasure known to the object of my rage. I am not particularly demonstrative and get easily embarrassed by displays of public emotion.

But at the moment I seem to have been taken over by a wave of excitement which clearly puts me a few points further up the ‘Britishness’ scale.

I have no idea how or why this has happened to me but I am crazily, barking, over the moon excited about the Royal Wedding.

I wouldn’t class myself as a huge fan of the Royal Family. If the revolution came tomorrow and the Royal Family was no more I don’t think I’d think too much of it but nor do I join in those who complain about tax-payer’s money etc etc. I won’t go into it but the actual cost per taxpayer isn’t that much and if you compared it to the revenue brought in from tourism it’s probably more than offset. But that would be going into it so I’ll stop right there.

On any normal day I don’t have any particular feelings for or against them. I didn’t grow up dreaming to be married to Prince William (if it was going to be either of the Princes I would have been going for Harry – he’s just more fun!). I didn’t lie prostrate beating my fists against the ground when Princess Diana died (I’m British remember? Plus, you know, I didn’t know her.). Heck, until last year I hadn’t even watched The Queen.

But something short circuited in my brain the day the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton was announced and 29th April is now gearing up to being one of the biggest days in my calendar this year.

I think it’s the sense of occasion which has caught me up. This is the first big big Royal event that I can fully appreciate (if we don’t count Charles and Camilla’s wedding and that totally doesn’t count). People are always talking about where they were when Charles and Diana got married. I was busy being not alive. Andrew and Fergie? Busy being a 3 year old.

Hell Mum remembers getting sent home from school when George VI died – I need an event like this in my living memory! (Incidentally, Mum’s Mum didn’t believe her when she got home and was marching her back to school when she met another parent on the way who verified that the King was dead. She must have thought my Mum was a hell of a liar to have come up with that one by herself.)

It’s not so much that I love the Royal Family but more that I love a bit of history and this is one piece of history that I want to remember. I want to do something so I can tell my (possibly never existent, but lets not go down that road again) children what I did on the day King William got married.

So what to do? I don’t particularly fancy going to a pub and watching it with hordes of other people – I’ll only be embarrassed if I have to shush them.

I decided I would throw a tea party. Not a street party. I’m quite frankly far too lazy to put up with the hassle of trying to organise something like that. A tea party. In my house. I will serve cakes and cucumber sandwiches and TEA and I will make everybody wear their fanciest party dresses (or you know, not) and we will sit around and be terribly civilised and maybe even pop some champagne cheap sparkling wine when they are pronounced man and wife.

But I didn’t stop there in my planning. I need something to serve this tea and fizzy stuff in. Yeah sure we have glasses and cups but it needed to be more than that. And I had an amazing idea...

...I would start snapping up all those tacky tatty souvenir mugs that you get for these occasions and we would use those. And so I made my first ever foray onto e-bay. I understand that this marks me out as a complete freak, how have I got to this point in my life and not gone on e-bay? The answer is that I was scared. I couldn’t quite get my head around how it worked and I had a feeling it was a dangerous place for someone like me.

How right I was. My hunt for these souvenir items took on mammoth proportions and it was only barely kept in check. In the space of 2 weeks I went from having no souvenir mugs to having five. This is quite a staggering exponential growth.

I couldn’t believe what there was to be found though and my favourites have to be the real oldies, which actually aren’t even tacky but are kind of awesome. I feel a collection coming on...

I have people keeping their beady little eye out for them in charity shops and the like and Dorothy managed to snaffle me a rather marvellous Charles and Diana one the other day which is a most delightful manky yellow colour (haven't had a chance to picture it yet though).

Of course what I would really like is one of the official, sold-in-the-Buckingham-Palace-shop mugs, but I just can’t bring myself to spend £35 on a teeny tiny mug that I would probably never dare use for fear of breaking. Plus it’s just far too stylish and classy, it doesn’t go with the mug I have commemorating their engagement at all. (But if anyone happened to be reading who wanted to get me a birthday present (4th April if you wanted to know) then there is an official Royal Wedding tea towel that’s only £7.95. I’m just saying...)

The one thing I don’t have for this party?

Erm...

Guests.

So who’s coming?