Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Running Woman - Part 4 - Why I am a Moron

One comment on yesterday’s post. Ouch. Guess no-one’s loving the running woman tales. Shame. Because I’m blatantly not going to stop. (Thanks for the love though Alex!)

Run my Route has become my best friend since I’ve started running. I would love to be the kind of free spirit that can just go out and run for an extended period of time but I just can’t. I need to have a purpose to my running, I need to know the route, no meandering for me.

I’ve got loads of 5km routes mapped out so I can mix things up and change things around and not get too bored in the same old routine. Heck I’d even planned out longer routes when I was considering running a 10km race. (It might still happen, I haven’t abandoned hope completely yet!)

Pretty much the only unanimous advice I’ve gathered about shin splints is that you have to start back slowly. Very slowly. This requires enormous amounts of patience, of which I am in short supply. I don’t want to take things slowly, I want to just start running again thank you very much.

But I was determined to be a good girl and seeing as the physiotherapist had made me promise I would take it slowly I had mapped out lots of shorter routes to start building back up.

First up – the 1km route.

I sailed round smoothly. I was feeling good. The inserts seemed to be doing a good job. I had no pain the next day. Super-duper.

Next up – the 2km route.

I had it all planned out and set off in the company of my i-pod to chug along. I figured 2km would take me about 15 minutes absolute tops, considering that I’m still regaining my fitness and trying to take things slowly.

So about half way round this route I think to myself, “Bloody hell woman, this seems like it’s been a lot longer than 1km, what’s wrong with you? You’re all out of breath and stuff?”

The longer I ran the more I beat myself up.

Well this is brilliant. You’re never going to be able to run 5km by 17th July if you’re struggling this much to run 2km

How can you have lost this much fitness this quickly? How ridiculous

God you suck at life

It was only when I was just round the corner from my Dad’s house that it dawned on me that maybe I should stop beating myself up. Or actually, I should continue beating myself up, but not for the fact that I was unfit but for the fact that I’m a complete idiot.

A trip to the Run my Route website confirmed that I am indeed a Grade A Fool.

When you plan your route you can choose to get the distance in mile or kilometres. Dumbass here really hadn’t run 2 kilometres There was a reason I was finding it pretty hard going. This person had run 2 miles. So I’d actually run 3.5km.

What a twat.

Not only did I feel like an idiot I really felt like an idiot because I couldn’t believe that I’d convinced myself to carry on running even though I knew I was running further than 2km. It’s quite scary in a way, talk about the power of the mind, what else might I be able to convince myself to do?!

And of course, because I’m an idiot I have been rewarded accordingly.

With shin splints.

I ran too far too quickly and now I have to pay the price and have managed to set myself back to zero. They’re not terrible, they’ve been worse and at least I know what they are now so can set about icing them and hoping for the best. But I am furious with myself for being so foolish.

I can’t say for definite that if I’d only run 2km then I’d be ok but I suspect this is the case. (Although I do have a record of being pretty hard on myself, hence this very story.)

I hate situations where you can’t pin the blame on anyone else and have to take full responsibility for your own actions. It makes me mad. Please can’t I blame someone else for my gross incompetency?

So I’m back to zero. I’m pretty busy this week so running would be out of the question anyway. I have a physiotherapy appointment on Friday, which I’m dreading because I’m going to have to confess to my sins and the Race for Life is looming ever closer and my fitness is receding further away.

So in a word - ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!


  1. I'M loving the running posts! Just pesky work very busy at the mo and I seem to spend all my spare time out on hills (even on weeknights!) so not a lot of time for blogging/commenting. Try not to beat yourself up too much, it was a genuine mistake. But it's a good lesson that you should listen to your body maybe?

    Your Race for Life is the same day as my 10k! I haven't run since my RFL in May, been concentrating on walking, so that should be really fun. Totally going to have a go on that website though, watching out for the metric/imperial obviously! xx

  2. Your running posts make me feel very unfit :p and it's for that reason I'm going to share with you (just you that is, everyone else look away now pls) that I HAVE LOST SOME WEIGHT enough that my work trousers are like comedy trousers and I have to wear them like Simon Cowell to stop them falling off. Embarrassing and satisfying at the same time.

    I'd ditch the race for life this year if I were you, but then make it up next year and do a 10k or something instead.

  3. Oh poor you! That's so annoying and disappointing for you! It's exactly the type of thing I would do!
    Thanks for visiting my blog! Definitely not a machine but have mad cyclist friends to keep up with! It's surprisingly easy to cycle lots of miles and not realise it, especially if the view is pretty!

  4. Actually it's about what interests you that counts and from time to time that won't suit someone or other but that's ok! I was going to post yesterday but as I agreed with the guy who said you shouldn't wear the inserts I thought I had best keep my opinions to myself as that seems to be what bloggers want and you get a bit touchy if people don't agree with you! (You do) and then all the other commenter’s gang up on the rogue commenter and call them names, even if they haven’t said very much.

    You also got me thinking because although I have never been told I have flat feet (partly because I am sure they have never been called upon to do anything like running - worried about my knees), I have worn inserts. If I wear certain shoes and walk a lot I get painful shins. That's as far as it goes because I don't run or anything. But you got me wondering about what if I did and do I have flat feet. So you see it was interesting and thought provoking and I ended up relating it to me which is always good. I just thought the reasoning behind doing all the exercises was good rather than going for the quick fix, which isn't a fix at all. That was my opinion which I didn't share yesterday. But now I am off to actually read today’s post.

    p.s have read it now and that was interesting too. I find it weird just 'going for a walk' so the same running must be weird too. I like to know where I am going and why, to give it a purpose. Anyway no need to give yourself a hard time. You get A* for trying and that really is good enough you know. It must be infuriating when you are thwarted doing what you really want to do so I do feel for you. The best advice I can give you is to think about the race between the tortoise and the hare. Yes I know it is annoying of me to tell you that. But I know nothing about running so don't listen to me.

  5. Two comments I'll have you know :) Sorry I didn't manage to comment till today - work in another city plus interview in that city = annoying overnight stay (with lovely friend) and *no* internet access! I'm so sorry you hurt! I'd love to have the courage to run, but I cannot bear the thought of a gym, and the idea of running 200m and being hideously out of breath in public does fill me with horror :)

  6. Oh god, there's nothing more irritating than injuring yourself and knowing it's your own fault. You can't even get properly angry with the world about it. So yes, agreed on the ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

    ps - if this is the hunky physio, make sure you shave your legs this time ;-)

  7. Sorry to say it, but I think Heather might be right: ditch the RFL this year and look for something later in the year instead (you can always find races in the running mags, and they're not always a gazillion miles long either).

    I overdid it a few years ago, and couples with twisting my ankle three new year's eves running (and totally sober too) I now have a lovely (permanently) purple ankle from damage to the blood vessels.

    p.s.#1 I use walkjogrun.net - it fools you by opening up with the USA but it has the UK and Ireland too, and people can share their running routes.

    p.s.#2 If Anonymous is going to write 3 paragraph posts, I think s/he should declare her/himself, don't you?

  8. I am enjoying the running posts! You probably won't see me gearing up to run with you but I do find it all very fascinating -and it is good stuff if I ever er decide to maybe run one day. I also stood up on one leg and bent my knee to see if I was like you. I couldn't really tell but that's engagement in your blog right?! The fact I got up to test something out!! xxx


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