I don't like me when I get like this, I irritate myself so my god only knows how irritating other people must find me. Instead I burrow myself away like a small bear until I'm feeling more myself. I also set a limit on my moping, there can be none of this "I'll just wait until I feel better" - like I said, I'm annoying myself at the moment, so I am allowing today to be a day of moping and then that's it, I will snap out of it and behave like a normal human being again. No point being sad, it won't change anything so why waste the energy?
So after an afternoon of slowly sinking in to a pit of despair I decided to snap out of it and make one of those vomit-inducing lists of things that are good in my life right now.
(Go and get your sick buckets now please.)
- I am loving that my little tete-a-tete flowers came into bloom while I've been out of the house since Friday night. Good job little colourful flowers.
- I am pleased that I finally learned how to use my curling tongs this week and discovered that I can look semi-decent as long as I'm willing to put in a bit of time.
- I am very pleased that I have got some awesome friends around me at the moment who can cheer me up and are happy to listen to me have a little moan. (Some people are just plain disappointing but this is a happy list so we'll pretend I didn't just say that.)
- I am grateful that Fred and Lily did their best to cheer me up last night by putting their little furry bodies all over my legs to keep me warm and cosy. Even though I did kind of need a wee.
- I am very pleased that I have The Person, who has the unenviable task of trying to deal with a weepy girlfriend over the phone, when it would be infinitely easier to do in person.
- I'm beside myself pleased that I finally paid my Career Development Loan off at the end of last year. If the worst comes to the worst, at least I won't have £180 to pay out each month. And even better, it means that I have a couple of months to save that £180 so I have a little If Worst Comes to Worst pot of money.
- I am loving my latest cross stitch project which is coming on a treat, thanks to having a couple of days off sick at the beginning of the week.
- I'm really pleased that I don't own a house or a car or have any dependants. Most of the time it gets me down that I'm a renting bus wanker, but this is one of the situations where it's a bonus. At least I don't have mortgage payments to worry about.
- Mostly I'm grateful for this cup of tea that I'm about to drink.