Thursday, 17 March 2011

Inside my head... a very odd place to be at the moment. My blogging has gone from frenetic to almost non-existent which is always an indicator that my head is too full of nonsense. I am hopeless at compartmentalising sometimes and although I will try, the contents of one compartment will gradually creep and spill into another without me really noticing, like some kind of fungus or rat infestation.
I also go from being almost insanely, creepily, good-god-shut-her-up happy to being ridiculously, crazily, good-god-give-her-a-slap sad. Or not even sad, just moody and withdrawn.

I’m still waiting to hear whether or not my job is secure. I’ve done all I can. I’ve pleaded my case. I’ve said what I think I can bring and now it’s just a waiting game whilst the puppet-masters look at budgets and decide my fate.

I am not well known for my patience. At all. I may, or may not, have complained to my sister-in-law that she was taking ages to have her baby when she was pregnant with my niece. What was I supposed to do just sit there and wait for her to be born? 9 months is a long time, imagine what I was like if I was an elephant, I couldn’t wait 2 years for a baby.

Stop imaging me like an elephant.

This lack of patience does not sit well with my near obsessive need to be organised and have a plan and know what I’m doing. I can’t make a plan if I don’t know what’s going to happen. So instead my mind takes off at a million miles an hour and comes up with different scenarios of how my life is going to go.

I’m now up to about 1205 different scenarios that range from “I get to keep my job” down to “I lose my job and then my leg falls off.” My favourite scenarios are the ones where I get a huge wad of money for doing relatively little i.e. winning the lottery (even though I don’t play it), random old relative I’ve never heard of dies, mystery benefactor a la Great Expectations. I also quite like the violent scenarios where I take out my frustrations on those responsible for my demise, telling people exactly what I think of them.

So as you can see, my brain is full at the moment. Those 1205 scenarios take up a hell of a lot of room and I’m adding to them all the time.

But there are exciting things to look forward to and occupy my mind whilst I practice the art of patience.

For instance.

This weekend I’m going to London town for hen do number 1 of 5 this year. This is for an old friend from uni whose wedding I won’t be attending in May because it’s going to be in Israel (she’s recently converted to Judaism which might make that choice of destination seem a little more normal). She doesn’t know any of the plans but we are going to a karaoke bar and then to Floridita, which sounds rather exciting.

But there’s so so so much more.

On the Saturday I will be meeting a real life blogger in person. I know. Terrifying. My choice of victim? The Curious Cat. So if you never hear from me again she’s probably the first suspect you should look at (kidding, kidding, but seriously, I haven’t told my mother what I’m doing, she wouldn't understand and her head will fall off in worry).

And as if a hen do and a blogger meet-up weren’t exciting enough, on the Sunday I, and my fellow Stitchettes, will be going to the Stitch and Craft show in the Olympia. But it gets even better. We’re not just going for a jolly old visit, we’re going to help out the Mr X Stitch I mentioned in my last post and we will be there all day, encouraging random strangers to get their stitch on, you can read a little more about it here. So if you’re planning on going then come and says hello to us!

I’ll be back next week when my brain has calmed down.

Ooh now wait, scenario number 1206 – I lose my job, then, engrossed in what I’m going to do with the rest of my life I get knocked over by a bus...


  1. Hope you have a very fun weekend. It sounds like despite all the uncertainty you have a lot this weekend to smile about. Look very eager at the Stitching Fair - someone might offer you an amazing job.

    I hope you have a great time with Curious Cat too - that'll be fun.

    Can't wait to see your post next week. x

  2. Argh, I've been having a few of those Lottery fantasies lately myself, to the point of working out how much I'd give to each of my friends and to charity!

    It's hard when you're not in control of your own destiny like this. People say not to worry about the things you can't control but I think that's all the MORE reason to worry surely? Don't let it spoil your weekend though - sounds so exciting!

    Have loads of fun with CC and can't wait to hear about the Stitchiness - you know, I'm getting the itch to stitch again rather than crochet or sew after looking at that Mr X-Stitch site....


  3. Yes, I am the modern day jack the ripper...

    no, only kidding! Totally harmless! We can commiserate about jobs when I see you...they are totally gay...

    And oo stitch and craft show? I'd so be there if I wasn't in hell come Sunday morning from staying out til 6/7am... that is going to make work so much nicer on Monday but right now I want a stiff drink!!

    So we're in the same stew pot you and me...though I get told my fate tomorrow but a work colleague sympathetically put it today -and hence my doom and gloom email - if you haven't heard anything by now expect the worst! Yay! I have no idea what I am going to do..zilch...but I did go for a walk afterwards and it helped a bit...

    Thanks for your facebook message too - technically answering it here - I feel your rage on my behalf and I feel it on your behalf too...people are pigs. It sucks...things need to change.


  4. It sux being in limbo land doesn't it? Been there, hate that.

  5. I hope you get some news on the job situation. You sound exactly like me; I have an over-active imagination combined with a need to be totally organised.

    I'm envious you're going to the Stitch n Craft Show. I was invited by a friend, but I decided my finances couldn't take the inevitable damage. Hope you have a great time!

  6. Actually, sometimes old relatives you haven't seen for many years do sometimes die and kindly leave you money - it has just happened to me! Not sure how much yet but enough to change my life should I want to. It's all the more welcome as any relatives I do see have nearly as little money as me. Fate can give you a helping hand sometimes, just when you need it the most. We don't have to have all the answers ourselves.

  7. It's ok to be sporadic in your blogging and confuddled with your thoughts. These things happen. Looks like you've got a great weekend planned though, have a lovely time :)

  8. Say hi to her from me. That sounds like a great weekend. I'm off to SOuthampton to meet 2 bloggers (thinly disguised as a footy weekend for the boys!). Ive beeb made redundant 3 times - as you would expect working in the north during the 80's. Once was when I had just left my 1st husband and was virtually homeless, so not great timing! I can honestly say that each time, something better came along that I would not have done had I stuck in my comfort zone. Sometimes fate can deal you a better hand - go with the flow. xxx

  9. The mysterious benefactor thing sounds good. Hopefully it's not a creepy Victorian character though...

    Hope you have a fab time in London this weekend and that it drives away some of the stress and impatience and scary scenarios.

  10. Sounds like a fab weekend. But watch out for those buses, there's lots of them in London.

  11. You could always do what I did: get made redundant, spend 2 years fruitlessly job hunting, then have a baby - although the sleep deprivation doesn't have much to recommend it. Fingers crossed you keep your job then!

    Shame you can't get to Israel - it's really worth a visit - but luck you for going to Olympia, I can't wait to get to a decent craft show. Hope you have a fab time with the Stitchettes.

  12. Hey, don't be hard on yourself about your impatience, I think in your current situation we would all be feeling like tomorrow doesn't come soon enough! In the meantime, enjoy all that's coming your way x

  13. Dammit. I was in London on Saturday and could totally have stalked you.

    Curses. Foiled.


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