...is a very odd place to be at the moment. My blogging has gone from frenetic to almost non-existent which is always an indicator that my head is too full of nonsense. I am hopeless at compartmentalising sometimes and although I will try, the contents of one compartment will gradually creep and spill into another without me really noticing, like some kind of fungus or rat infestation.
I also go from being almost insanely, creepily, good-god-shut-her-up happy to being ridiculously, crazily, good-god-give-her-a-slap sad. Or not even sad, just moody and withdrawn.
I’m still waiting to hear whether or not my job is secure. I’ve done all I can. I’ve pleaded my case. I’ve said what I think I can bring and now it’s just a waiting game whilst the puppet-masters look at budgets and decide my fate.
I am not well known for my patience. At all. I may, or may not, have complained to my sister-in-law that she was taking ages to have her baby when she was pregnant with my niece. What was I supposed to do just sit there and wait for her to be born? 9 months is a long time, imagine what I was like if I was an elephant, I couldn’t wait 2 years for a baby.
Stop imaging me like an elephant.
This lack of patience does not sit well with my near obsessive need to be organised and have a plan and know what I’m doing. I can’t make a plan if I don’t know what’s going to happen. So instead my mind takes off at a million miles an hour and comes up with different scenarios of how my life is going to go.
I’m now up to about 1205 different scenarios that range from “I get to keep my job” down to “I lose my job and then my leg falls off.” My favourite scenarios are the ones where I get a huge wad of money for doing relatively little i.e. winning the lottery (even though I don’t play it), random old relative I’ve never heard of dies, mystery benefactor a la Great Expectations. I also quite like the violent scenarios where I take out my frustrations on those responsible for my demise, telling people exactly what I think of them.
So as you can see, my brain is full at the moment. Those 1205 scenarios take up a hell of a lot of room and I’m adding to them all the time.
But there are exciting things to look forward to and occupy my mind whilst I practice the art of patience.
This weekend I’m going to London town for hen do number 1 of 5 this year. This is for an old friend from uni whose wedding I won’t be attending in May because it’s going to be in Israel (she’s recently converted to Judaism which might make that choice of destination seem a little more normal). She doesn’t know any of the plans but we are going to a karaoke bar and then to Floridita, which sounds rather exciting.
But there’s so so so much more.
On the Saturday I will be meeting a real life blogger in person. I know. Terrifying. My choice of victim? The Curious Cat. So if you never hear from me again she’s probably the first suspect you should look at (kidding, kidding, but seriously, I haven’t told my mother what I’m doing, she wouldn't understand and her head will fall off in worry).
And as if a hen do and a blogger meet-up weren’t exciting enough, on the Sunday I, and my fellow Stitchettes, will be going to the Stitch and Craft show in the Olympia. But it gets even better. We’re not just going for a jolly old visit, we’re going to help out the Mr X Stitch I mentioned in my last post and we will be there all day, encouraging random strangers to get their stitch on, you can read a little more about it here. So if you’re planning on going then come and says hello to us!
I’ll be back next week when my brain has calmed down.
Ooh now wait, scenario number 1206 – I lose my job, then, engrossed in what I’m going to do with the rest of my life I get knocked over by a bus...