Tuesday 28 June 2011

Today we are One

Well lookee here. We’ve made it to a year.
(And apparently gained the ability to rhyme.)

I won’t lie, it feels like longer. I mean I know it has been, so many of you have been with me longer than this guy’s been around, but I feel like this year’s been a long one.

It took me a long time to decide whether or not I would start a new blog after breaking up with the boyfriend. I went backwards and forwards over it many times – shall I just carry on as I am? Shall I just change the name of this one? Shall I just scrap it and start again?

Overall I’m pleased I started again. I needed to. After all I was pretty much starting my life again, it made sense to do the same in blog format.

How things have changed in that year. I look back over those first few posts and try and conjure up how I was feeling when I wrote them. In a way I’m thankful that it’s all kind of hazy and vague. I definitely know that I don’t want to particularly revisit it in too fine detail.

I found a piece of paper the other day. I must have done it at work and it was a list of all the emotions that I was feeling post break-up. It wasn’t pretty.

There was everything from feeling happy that I’d made the right decision to guilt at the pain that I’d caused, to anxiety about the choices I’d made to anger that I was being blamed for something when we both knew there was a problem, to sadness that I had yet another failed relationship behind me.

It was a very messy page.

If I was to do a similar list today I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be quite as messed up. It wouldn’t be perfect, but I’m most definitely on an even keel emotions-wise.

At one point I did consider just not blogging anymore after the break-up. To tell the truth I was kind of embarrassed. Here was this blog that was all about living with someone and yet I’d completely failed at doing that – I felt like a right idiot. But mainly that’s because I’d kept a lot of the doubts and fear and torment to myself, not wanting to have a blog full of whining and doom and gloom. Maybe that was to my detriment.

I decided I did want to carry on blogging after the break-up purely because I like it. I do. I like you guys. I miss you when I don’t hear from you. I find myself wanting to tell you things, wanting to let you know how things are with me (whether you want to hear them or not).

And you’ve made me realise that I made the right decision. I’m glad that you’ve stuck with me for this past year. I’m glad that you’ve patiently listened to me as I’ve rambled on about totally idiotic things, that you’ve praised me when I’ve brought something to show-and-tell and that you’ve given me advice and feedback and generally made me feel better.

I did plan on doing a giveaway for my one year anniversary. I even started to buy a couple of things for it. And then I sort of forgot in the temporary move to my Dad’s so let’s pretend that I haven’t told you all that and one day I will surprise you.

But yeah.

Thanks.

11 comments:

  1. Well, I for one am really pleased that you decided to continue blogging and start a fresh blog. Afterall, it's you that your bloggy friends connected with, not 'the Boy'.
    Here's to happier times ahead :0)

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  2. Happy Blogiversary! very pleased that you have kept in touch with us all. x

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  3. So glad you carried on! I had only just discovered your blog, and was so pleased when you started this one. Here's to getting on an even more even keel :)

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  4. Yay so glad you decided to start a new blog too. It's funny how things can change in a year eh?! Let's hope you're even happier by the next xx

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  5. Gosh! Has it really been a year? Where are our lives disappearing to? Congrats though! Breaking up is never easy... Life is never easy. Growing tired of the ever drama in mine that I can tell you! xxx

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  6. you are one of my best bloggy-friends. Thank you for continuing to have a blog.
    sincerely, HEATHER.
    :) x

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  7. Hurrah and a big hug for a year's worth of new blog. I too am glad you stuck around the blogosphere - looking forward to plenty more from you too.

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  8. I'm glad that you decided to keep on blogging and I'm really glad that you are now in a much happier place xx

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  9. I'm glad you didnt stop too. And its good for others in a similar situation to see that you do get over a break up. Onwards and Upwards Hull girl! xx

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  10. Yay, happy one year! Glad that things are on the up and up. xx

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  11. Well done on maintaining it! Great that you made the decision to continue in this vein! I can't comment on the old one but am sure it was just as lovely even if full of bittersweet memories.

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