Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Wedding Dos and Don'ts

I’m not the biggest fan of New Year’s Eve normally. Whilst I’m always up for a big night out, don’t you find that the nights out that you hype up in your head tend to be the worst? New Year’s Eve is the biggest hyped night of the year, it’s no wonder the poor sod never quite lives up to my expectations.

2010’s NYE saw a first for me however, my first NYE Wedding. The Person That I Don’t Talk About On My Blog (I really need to think of a better nickname for him) lives in the deepest, darkest South of England and one of his childhood friend’s was tying the knot so I braved my way down there to join him for some belated Christmas celebrating.

I was pretty pleased about the wedding being on NYE – you can’t go wrong with a wedding can you? They’re always fun.


I have come up with a list of Wedding Dos and Don’ts for anyone who’s planning an upcoming wedding.

DO choose a beautiful setting and they don’t come more beautiful than Arundel Cathedral (even if it is at the top of the world’s steepest hill)

DO remember to warn people that Catholic weddings go on for approximately a million years. I had completely forgotten and wanted to eat my own arm off when it got past the 1 hour mark. I almost went up to get a blessing when they were taking Communion because I felt I deserved having sat through all of it.

DO have possibly the most awesome wedding car ever.

DO exercise the bride's prerogative to be late, but DON'T take the piss. 10 minutes is fine. Half an hour, not so much.

DON’T invite people to the wedding ceremony and reception but tell them there’s no room for them at the wedding breakfast. People will feel obliged to attend the wedding ceremony and will then be left with hours and hours of dead space to try and fill. And linked to this...

DON’T have your wedding on New Year’s Eve if you’re not going to feed them. Pubs stop serving food early on New Year’s Eve, meaning that the guests not eating with you will be forced into a tea room because it’s the only place open. (But thank god it was a tea room that served wine.)

DON’T have a jazz band with the combined age of 93 providing the only entertainment all night. Yes it may be classy but it gets incredibly samey after about half an hour, what’s wrong with just having a bit of cheesy disco?!

DO feed your guests in the evening. Small home-made pies does not a buffet make. Especially when your Lost Guests only managed to find a tea room serving food.

DO give all your guests Chinese Lanterns to set off after midnight. It was a nice touch, even if people did go slightly insane in the rush to the little bonfire to light them and nearly set themselves alight.


  1. A tea room serving wine? I do hope I'm not going to be the only one immediately reminded of Withnail & I :)

    I think this whole thing where people are invited to only part of the day thing has to end. i know it is expensive to invite people to a wedding but if you don't want to pay for them to be there all day then don't expect them to travel halfway across the country. Sheesh.

    There again, I think you may have to relinquish your hopes about a warning on the length of Catholic ceremonies. How exactly would you word that on the invitation?

  2. Haha, agreed on all points! I'm totally having a Beetle/Camper Van as my wedding car, just need the husband! Happy New Year! xx

  3. Totally initially read that as you getting married to the person you are increasingly referring to in your blog - "Surprise guys! Shotgun wedding!"

    I'm kind of disappointed/relieved that wasn't the case ;)

  4. Yes yes yes on all fronts. We ended up going for fish and chips with another family and our collective children in a very similar situation. This involved two changes of clothes and barely saved arms after Catholic wedding on the other side of the country. Mind you I do like a wedding, just a thought through wedding.

  5. tee hee! He Who Shall Not Be Named? Is that too awful? is it ok to be adamant that I'm walking to my wedding (unless it's tipping it down)? :)

  6. Here! Here! I agree with you completely! :) Hope you had a good-ish time though! Something to remember? xxx PS Naughty groom!

  7. Love the wedding car!!
    Also love your list of dos and don'ts - what's with the not feeding bit?! You should only really invite people to the ceremony if you're inviting them to the breakfast afterwards - otherwise just get them to come in the evening - that's weird really
    And still not convinced about having a wedding on NYE... but then why not hey? I agree, it's so completely over-hyped - which is why we've taken the bull by the horns and fled to Wales!
    Happy new year by the way!! x

  8. How totally tight not to feed you!!! Anyone who sits through a Catholic Wedding service deserves a roast dinner!! Next time - take butties. xxxx

  9. My sister invited a lot of people to her ceremony bit, but only had about 30 for the wedding "breakfast" - I thought that was pretty weird as well! Its like "hi, you can come and sit about for ages, but we're not going to even give you a glass of wine afterwards"

    I had a massive list of dos and don'ts after her wedding, but couldn't post them because I'd get in trouble!

  10. Am I the only one that finds the very concept of wedding breakfasts really weird? They always seem to be in the afternoon so why call it a sodding breakfast?? Mental. Just have an uber-buffet at the reception instead - saves money all round, surely?

    Oh I did chortle about your Irregular Choice comment. Which pair did you get? And does the boyfriend have a brother? Cos if so, point him my way - I deserve someone to buy me amazing shoes!


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